Lord Firethorn's Tea

What is Lord Firethorn's Tea?

By the name alone, one might suspect it is a beverage, but it is not. It's the Gossip Sheet of Terrasquestone, the conversation had over cups of tea. This ranges from actions going on with the guilds, within the households of the Lords, the picadillos of visiting nobles from other countries, international news, and the like. While the talk of the town, quite a few people would be greatly pleased to discover the identity of Lord Firethorn and to see his quill snapped and his tea poured out. Many people in power dislike being criticized, and certainly not in a manner where large numbers of other people become aware of it. Various guilds have also been vexed by the burning quill as Firethorn divulges guild meeting items, or exposes things the guilds wanted to keep secret. This applies to the Lords, though not all of them. Some Lords of Terrasquestone have been seen quite enjoying the Tea.

General Contents of the Tea?

First and foremost, the Tea is a social rag. The most common topics are the who's who of the Lord's Court, and the visiting daughters, dignitaries, eligible sons, and emissaries. Important events always spin off soirees and parties. At the same time, it is all the rage for the various nobles visiting the city to show their wealth and largesse, impressing each other against the Casablanca neutrality of Terrasquestone. Who's dating who, who's frequenting the brothels, what ladies take long coach rides with strangers, who are going to wed, who are on the breaks, pending nuptials, and the marriages of states and power.

Valorous deeds come second. Firethorn is much more interested in tournaments that are held regularly within the walls of the great castle, though the actions of the martial guilds, the City Watch, and the Adventurer's Guilds do interest them ... some.

Critiques of the Lords, the Lord's Council, and the various Guilds in the city come next. Lord Firethorn is famously outspoken against abuses of power with the most scorn being reserved for the High Lord themselves.

Finally, there might be a few words at the end about the state of continental affairs.

Delivery

The Tea is printed by a large number of print shops, and none of the printers are willing to divulge the identity of the people involved with ordering, paying for, or picking up the Tea for delivery. Lord Firethorn doesn't rely on a single shop for his Tea but rotates around at random, and then sometimes, no one knows where the pamphlets come from, they just sort of appear. Some of this is outsourcing to printers outside of Terrasquestone (for the Tea that can be made well ahead of time, such as formal announcements that are not last-minute affairs), and sometimes it seems as if magic were used to conjure the Tea from thin air. This is more expensive, so Firethorn tends not to be so flashy unless it is important.

The Tea is delivered in person by the boys of the Banner Guild. These scrappy newspaper lads carry bundles of the Tea to hand out to their customers, and some households have standing accounts with the Banners to make sure that they get their copies of the Tea before they're handed out in the middle and low sections of the city.

The other aspect of delivery is that each topic might get a single paragraph, but within that paragraph will be a single throw-away line, and that's the real Tea. A knight might be mentioned in a blurb about the most recent tourney with a little ' A Pity About His Wife'. Then the ever-bored, ever-inquisitive upper crust of the city will go find out what there was to pity about the good knight's wife and discover something very juicy, scandalous, or foul. Did she commit adultery against her good husband? Has her daughter run away to the Guild of the Lily (prostitution), did she perish in a mysterious accident just days before the new governess of the Knight's children was seen riding with him?

Appearance:

The Tea is a single-sheet pamphlet, folded in half, and printed in small type. The pages tend to have multiple illuminated images with the most popular being the crests and heraldry of who is being skewered or exposed in the Tea, along with the device of Lord Firethorn, a hand holding a rose with a quill nib on the base.


What is the Secret?

Lord Firethorn is the youngest son of one of the Lords of Terrasquestone. He is very easily overlooked as he is not traditionally handsome. Instead, he is a bookish and self-conscious young man with a good deal of education. Being a touch soft around the mid-section, with a mop of curly hair most see him as a clowning figure, a nebbish thing to be dismissed. That is assuming they even notice him.

That being said, he is charismatic and intelligent, and some of his appearance is an air he puts on so he remains overlooked. It helps that he is a bit uncoordinated in his movement and clumsy. Between the physical ineptitude, somewhat comic relief appearance, and seemingly lack of willpower or a backbone, no one notices him in high society. In the presence of common folk, he is taller, charming, and funny, and they tell him everything. The Tea comes from the household staff of the noble houses, of the members of the guilds themselves especially the apprentices and journeymen, from the ladies in waiting and the squires to the knights.

I am imagining someone like a young Josh Gad.

Who knows this?

Very few people know who Lord Firethorn is, mostly because the Lord's son is a quiet and easily overlooked young man. The rest is caution on his part, a bit of disguise work, and a bit of magic. None of his family knows what he does, and most are somewhat critical of him for being a waste of time and talent. He responds by airing all of their dirty laundry, and the dirty laundry of their friends and consorts.

Twist

While everyone is reading the Tea, enjoying the scandal and gossip, they are unaware of Lord Firethorn's ambitions and goals. He is rather in love with a young noblewoman who has never made eye contact with him. He also takes spells simping after different eligible ladies of the court, followed by periods of spite where he works to sabotage them, undermine their courtiers, and so forth. He is scrupulous in his gossip being accurate, because it is part of what has protected him from more serious investigations. Should he start slandering and labeling, scaring up hoaxes and whatnot the Lords would be much less lenient towards his gossip rag and would devote more effort into finding out who he actually was and silencing Firethorn for good.