The PottyPortal

'Are you tired of having to go all the way outside to go to the bathroom? Do you wish you had a toilet inside, but the stench would be too much? Well, the solution is here! The PottyPortal is a low-cost toilet that teleports your urine and feces onto our Poop Hill, where we deal with it. No more leaving the warmth of your homes to go to the bathroom. No more trudging through the elements to do a simple task. Simply go to the indoor bathroom, and do what you had to do!'

The PottyPortal is a cylinder, with a seat like that of a modern day toilet. It has a portal about a foot beneath the rim, which teleports the feces and urine to the PottyPortal's poop hill. The term 'hill,' though, captures the wrong image. Usually, the poop company will dig a pit for the poop. After two years of use, the hole full of poop will be covered off with the old dirt, making a hill.

Throughout the year, the PottyPortal manufacturers sell the poop. Though most city folk have no use, or any inclination to use, their feces, farmers, tanners, and other such groups. This creates a neat cycle, especially for the farmers; the farmers send crops to the cities, the cities convert it to poop, and the poop is uses to grow more crops.

Some PottyPortal manufacturers use earth or crap golems to guard these hills. Sometimes, valuable objects are hidden at the bottom (or the top) in airtight containers by nearby agencies. It is the perfect system; who would want to go for a swim in poop and urine, while fighting off golems of whichever type? As such, sometimes the companies selling PottyPortal's are paid to store such treasures discreetly in the current Poop Hill.