Mumwertz's Affectionate Elixirs

Once in a while, those wandering the back streets of the city spot something new: A little shop nestled where an empty lot once sat. It shows every appearance of age, with its grimy windows and badly-faded sign proclaiming Mumwertz's Affectionate Elixirs in archaic script. Despite that, the shop certainly wasn't there a week before.

Mumwertz, the elderly proprietor, offers no explanation for his tiny business' sudden appearances. He suspects that one of his most potent elixirs (Oudall's Transmigration Paste) accidentally fell into a bucket of soapy water the last time that he cleaned (many long years ago), but he doesn't want to let anyone know, as he is several years in arrear on his rent. One moment the shop nestles among a block of well-established jewelers, then a moment later it has vanished, replaced by an empty lot. The dusty storefront will reappear eventually, on an entirely different street, or perhaps even a different city. In any case, the moment the store is gone, none of the other local merchants can remember it. Only those that actually purchase something can recall the place.

Within, the tiny store is filled with bizarre knickknacks and charms. Exotic potions clutter the shelves, promising all sorts of weird benefits. These concoctions range from Oil of Falconsight to Poet's Elixir. Equally odd charms and fetishes share the filth-encrusted shelves, including rarities made with such unusual substances as Hagwort (a protection against prying in-laws) and Elephant's Nail (sure to give solid footing). Some items are religious relics, including the owner's prized Eyeteeth of St. Dissam (well-known for the protection they offer thieves). The doddering old apothecary keeps the well-preserved 'Falchion of Al Gojj' behind his workbench; he brandishes the relic feebly at any neer-do-well that threatens his shop.

Mumwertz takes extravagant pride in his assortment of love charms and potions, which range from the famous (but somewhat toxic) Challian Bug Powder to the somewhat less potent Ardent Ungent of Ix. A romantic at heart, he will vigorously attempt to demonstrate the efficacy of his products by setting up customers with random passerby. This sometimes results in unfortunate incidents as local shopgirls are dosed with the Passion Powder of Bing or the little-known Colton's Curse of Insatiable Frenzy (which is generally not as exciting as it sounds, but works admirably to calm frightened horses). Mumwertz also carries a fine selection of comfits, candies made from nuts and dried fruits, which he highly recommends to those already in love. He very seldom sells candies laced with love potions to unsuspecting customers, but mistakes have been known to happen and the two types of sweetmeats DO look very similar.

Due to his shop's tendency to unceremoniously vanish, Mumwertz avoids going out whenever possible and depends on others to run errands for him. He can usually guess when the little storefront is about to move, but the doddering alchemist has occasionally been seen bumbling about the streets of the city, plaintively calling, "Shopppp! Here boy! C'mon shop! Where the devil did you get off to THIS time?" Anyone helping him find his wayward store will be amply rewarded from Mumwertz's dusty stock of discounted elixirs.