A Dash of Salt

Roast Razorhound leg with Chironus sauce

1.5 kg Leg of Razorhound, de-quilled and excess fat sheared.

1 tsp rock salt

3 tbsp worstershire sauce

1/2 tsp garlic

1 tsp thyme

70 gm grey Chironus seeds

Salt and Pepper to taste.

De-bone and butterfly Razorhound leg, taking extra care to ensure all poisonous quills have been removed. Rub in rock salt until Juices of the meat are drawn to the surface.

Combine Worstershire, Thyme and garlic, mixing well. Carefully add Chironus seeds 2-3 at a time, dropping gently into mixture so as not to cause them to explode. Mix softly using one of the spare Razorhound quills, and brush onto both sides of the. Roast with a high heat over one hour, turning once after 40 minutes. Cut into desired portions and serve with a green salad, dressed with lemon juice.

Disclaimer: Strolens Citadel assumes no responsibility for Injury including - but not limited to - loss of limb, poisoning, blindness, or deafness.

I've been threatening to make a Midian cookbook for a few years now...

Heldannic Blackened Fish

1 pound of fish--typically 4 cod, catfish, or haddock--filleted

1/4 cup of melted butter

1/2 teaspoon of crushed dried basil

1/2 teaspoon of ground red pepper

1/2 teaspoon of onion powder

1/4 teaspoon of black pepper

1/4 teaspoon of crushed dried thyme

1/4 teaspoon of garlic

1/4 teaspoon of ground white pepper

1/4 teaspoon of salt

1/8 teaspoon of ground sage

Thaw the fish if frozen (the Heldannic Confederation is mountainous & sub-arctic). Place an unoiled castiron skillet directly on the coals of the fire. Preheat the skillet until a drop of water sizzles, which may take up to five minutes.

Mix the seasonings together. Coat both sides of the fish with the butter by brushing or dragging. Coat the fish with the seasoning mix (some cooks again prefer dragging) & lightly tamp it in.

Add the coated fish filets to the skillet. Carefully drizzle half of the remaining butter, or about 2-3 teaspoons, over the fish. Cook the fish about 2 1/2 to 3 minutes, or until blackened. Turn the fish, carefully drizzle with the remaining butter, and continue cooking for another 2 1/2 to 3 minutes. The fish is done when the other side is blackened, and the fish flakes easily with a fork.

An optional variation on this recipe is to use a sliced red pepper and onion, instead of ground/powdered. Saute these in the skillet with a teaspoon of butter before placing the fish in the skillet.

Here's another Heldannic treat, this time from the Trolls.

Mushroom-Stuffed Human Burgers

3/4 cup of thinly sliced mushrooms

1/4 cup of thinly sliced green onion

1 clove of minced garlic

2 teaspoons of butter

1 1/2 pound lean ground Human

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

In a skillet, saute the mushrooms, onion, and garlic in butter until tender, or about 2 minutes. Combine ground Human, salt and pepper; mix well. Shape into 12 patties, about 4 inches in diameter. Set these aside for now. Spoon equal portions of the sauted mushroom mixture onto the center center of 6 Human patties. Spread to within 1/2 inch of edge. Top with the remaining 6 patties; press the edges to seal them. Place the patties on grill about 6 inches over medium-hot coals. Grill to desired doneness (about 5-10 minutes is recommended, but some prefer them simply seared), turning once. Serve them on bread or large rolls, if desired.

Here's yet another northern taste treat, this time from the Killian Empire. This one is quite popular in upscale restaurants.

Killian Squall Eeel

1 live squall eel

1 sliced green pepper

1 small sliced cucumber

1/4 cup of sliced mushrooms

2 tablespoons of soy sauce

Mix the pepper, cucumber, mushrooms, and soy sauce. Carefully hold down the squirming squall eel while slicing open its midsection. Remove the stomach, intestines, and (for females) the egg sack. Ensure that no eggs are left in the squall eel if the egg sack is accidentally ruptured. Peel the skin off of the squall eel. Stuff with the mix. Serve on a bed of rice, preferably in a covered dish to prevent the squall eel from trying to escape. Serves 2.

Here are two Elven dishes using cyphids. Cyphids are large insects (nearly half a pound each) that have odd red markings on their tan & brown carapaces; related to roaches.

Cyphid Pasta

6 ounces of penne pasta

1 chopped onion

2 tablespoons of olive oil

1 clove of minced garlic

1 sliced green bell pepper

3 chopped celery stalks

1 pound of sun-dried tomatoes

1 1/2 cups of dry hard cider

1 1/2 tablespoons of tomato paste

ground black pepper to taste

2 chopped cyphids

In a large skillet, cook the onion in the olive oil for 2 minutes. Add in the garlic, green pepper, and celery, and cook for an additional 5 minutes. Stir in the tomatoes, cider, and black pepper, and bring to a boil. Add in the pasta, cover, and simmer for about 15 minutes. Add the cyphids, recover, and continue to simmer for 5 more minutes. Serves 4.

Cyphid, Avocado, and Mango Salad

3/4 cup of olive oil

2 tablespoons of raspberry vinegar

1 teaspoon of grated fresh ginger

1 teaspoon of honey

1 teaspoon of mustard seed

1 tablespoon of lemon juice

1 tablespoon of minced fresh chives

1 teaspoon of chopped fresh dill

1 small shredded head of iceberg lettuce

3 avocados: peeled, pitted and sliced

3 mangos: peeled and sliced

4 whole unshelled cyphids

3 ounces of thinly sliced mushrooms

Combine the the oil, vinegar, ginger, honey, mustard seed, lemon juice, chives and dill in a bowl to make the dressing--whisk together until well blended. Place a mound of shredded lettuce in the center of each plate. Separate the wing covers of the cyphids, and carefully hammer a wedge between them to crack the carapace, and peel the two halves apart. Place a cyphid on top of each lettuce mound. Circle all of this with the mango and avocado along the rims of the plates. Sprinkle all of this with the mushrooms. Pour enough dressing to lightly cover. Serves 4.

Roast Silverspider

1 young Silverspider

2 tablespoons of salt

1 tablespoon of thyme

Half a cube of butter

First shave your Silverspider very well, as if one of the hairs gets caught in your throat it could cause choking.Take a sharp knife and cut out the venom gland which is above the fangs to avoid being poisoned. Put the salt,butter and thyme on the skin and cook in an oven for an hour. Take out, cut open and serve. It tastes very like chicken. Serves 5.

Pub Food

This is basic pub grub in all the Known World (Arth). It is simple, basic, and easy to make. And it has individual servings, though it is made "en mass". These are the names these go by in Antioch, since they have such a flare for names. Some SCA fighter companies make this recipe at events, orignally inspired by its existance in my games.

Beef n' Brew

Warm the large Pot/ Kettle

Add a half Keg of Beer, Dark and flavorful prefered. Can be stilled. (Enough Beer to fill your large pot about 2/3s full)

Set the Beer in the large pot over heat, bring to roiling boil. Now you have time.

Two stones (4 lbs) worth of any red meat. Common beef is mostly used, Beef Tongue is a great meat to add, venison, elk or wild cattle (buffalo) also work. Horse, if properly pounded, works. White meats like Chicken, Pork, Gator/ Dragon, do not work as well (but can be added if added late in the cooking and mostly red meat is used). Meat needs to be cubed into joint sized pieces (about 1CC or .5" cubes) Put aside.

Put a pile of chopped bones, connective tissues, and fat in cheesecloth. Put aside as well.

Cut a handfull of root vegetables (carrots and onions) to a fine dice.

Put a Big Frypan on the fire.

Two to Five Potatoes (depends on size of pot), cubed to half the size of the meat. Add to Beer and Cheesecloth bundle. Bring Beer to a boil, then to a high simmer.

In a now hot large skillet brown a handful of meats at a time until it is all cooked. Set aside product.

Add a touch of flour to meat grease, cook flour through. Add result to pot with vegetables. Bring back to boil, then reduce to a hard simmer.

When beer reduces to 1/4 original amount, add beef. Continue to simmer until reaches a thick stew like consistancy. Remove bundle. Reduce heat to keep warm. Serve with a thick crusty bread. Serves very nicely in hollowed out bread rounds.

Crisps n' Goo for one

Wash, clean and slice one potato. The slices should be thick wafers, not parchement. Dry slices.

Take some meat grease, enough to coat your entire pan, heat in pan. When good and hot, put potato slices in.

Remove when golden. Put in low bowl. Cover with cheese put in oven. and wait for customer.

A good option is to cook thick bacon to generate the hot grease. Pull it out, dry it, chop roughly. Follow steps. Add to cheese.

Finely diced shallots can garnish. Any onion product can be garnish, though root parts must be cooked golden.

These are both very tested recipes.

Drunk Dragonling

1) Skin Critter. Clean and Gut. Debone. Shred meat roughly (big pieces).

2) In a cheesecloth bundle put (sage, rosemary, and tyme and half the remining bodies of the fruit used). In another bundle put select critter bones, concentrating on ribs bones.

2) In a broad pan (small roasting pan) add bundles and add on meat on top. To pan pour in a half a bottle potato alcohol (Vodka), two cups of water, the juice of two average citrus fruits (four lemons, two oranges, or one grapefruit). Add potato alcohol so the level of liquid should just cover the meat.

Let meat sit in a cool dark place for a good antioch hour (2 hours), though some say only for half said hour (one hour) or just a few marks (15 minutes)

Get a good fire going in the oven (300). Put pan into the oven. Liquid will bubble and reduce slowly (reduce heat if reducing too quickly). Frequently check critter bits and baste exposed beast with sause and fats - once every two marks (10 to 15 minutes). Eventually liquid will turn to sauce, critter will braise (thicken with a cooked rue if needed, but it should cook down nicely). It should take about an antioch hour (2 hours to an hour and a half).

Critter is served on noodles (or rice) with 'sauce' over it. Makes good sandwitch stuffing as well.

Chicken or Turkey can be substituted for Dragonling. RedMeat fish can be used as well, but use a fraction of the soaking time and half the cooking time. This is a tested recipe

Carviton Cacciatore

3 pounds of carviton meat, cut into serving pieces

2 cups flour seasoned with salt and pepper

6 tablespoons olive oil

2 onions, finely chopped

2 -3 cloves garlic, crushed

8 red ripe tomatoes peeled, seeded and chopped

4 green peppers chopped

bay leaves

1 cup white wine

1 pound of mushrooms, sliced

8 ounces of sliced pimientos

Parsley for garnish

2 tablespoon cornstarch dissolved in 4 tablespoons cold water

Dry carviton meat well and dip pieces in seasoned flour. Saute carviton in hot oil until well browned. Remove carviton from pan. In the same oil, saute onions and garlic until golden. Return carviton to pan and add remaining ingredients except the cornstarch, mushrooms, pimientos and parsley. Cover skillet and simmer for 30 minutes until carviton is tender.Add mushrooms and pimientos and cook for 10 minutes. Thicken sauce with cornstarch paste. Garnish with parsley. Serves 8

Chicken can be substituted for the Carviton

Apple Brandy Selvak Chops

6 thick center-cut selvak chops, about 8 oz. each

12 - 15 large fresh basil leaves, finely minced

3 tablespoons minced onion or shallots

1/4 cup green peppers, very finely minced

1/4 cup butter

6 tablespoons apple brandy

Bread crumbs

Salt and pepper

2 eggs

Cooking oil

Cut a lateral pocket in each selvak chop 2' long and 1' deep. Saute shallots and green peppers in butter until vegetables are merely tender. Add apple brandy and set ablaze. When flames disappear, add 1/2 cup bread crumbs and basil. Mix well. Add salt and pepper to taste. Stuff selvak chops with bread crumb mixture. Dip chops in flour. Beat eggs with 4 teaspoons oil. Dip chops in beaten egg, coating thuroughly. Dip chops in bread crumbs; pat crumbs on chops to make firm coating. Close pockets shut with several toothpicks. Heat 1/4' oil in skillet. Saute chops until medium-brown on both sides. Place in a shallow backing dish and cook for one hour at a medium temperature. Serves 6

Should Selvak not be in season, pork chops may be used as a substitution for this recipe.

Marinated Selvak

2/3 cup olive oil

3 tablespoons lemon juice

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon pepper

3 bay leaves, crumbled

3 cups onion, sliced

3 cloves garlic

Leg of selvak

Marinate selvak in a mixture of all ingredients for at least 12 hours, turning occasionally. Cook for 1 1/2 - 2 hours on the grill, basting occasionally with marinade.

Lamb is an excellent substitute for this recipe.

Karahi Squicken

2 tablespoons ghee

3 garlic cloves, minced

1 onion, chopped finely

2 tablespoons garam masala

1 teaspoon coriander seeds, ground

1/2 teaspoon dried mint

1 bay leaf

1 pound and 10 ounces of squicken meat, diced

Scant 1 cup of chicken stock. (Yes chicken..not squicken)

1 tablespoon fresh cilantro, chopped

Salt

Warm naan bread or chapatis, to serve

Heat the ghee in a karahi, wok or a large, heavy skillet. Add the garlic and onion. Stir-fry for about 4 minutes until onion is golden.

Stir in the garam masala, ground coriander, mint and bay leaf.

Add the squicken and cook over a high heat, stirring occasionally, for about 5 minutes.Add the stock and simmer 10 minutes, until the sauce has thickened and the squicken juices run clear when the meat is tested with a sharp knife.

Stir in fresh cilantro and salt to taste, mix well and serve immediately with warm naan bread or chapatis. Serve 4.

If Squicken is not to your liking, you may substute it for Chicken.

An Amarian's Grandmother's Human Bread recipe

Humans make flat bread on Arth. Every non Elventi culture makes it as well. Here is one family's recipe.

2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour or bread flour

1-1/2 cups blue corn masa harina

1/4 cup whole wheat pastry flour

1/4 cup amaranth flour or mesquite flour

4 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1-1/2 cups warm water

1/4 cup cold butter, cut into pieces

1) In a medium mixing bowl using your hands or a wooden spoon combine the unbleached flour, the blue cornmeal, the whole wheat and amaranth flours, baking powder, and salt. Cut in the butter until crumbly, using a fork or pastry blender if making by hand. Gradually add the hot water to the flour mixture, stirring just until the dough sticks together, clears the sides of the bowl, and a soft firm ball is formed, adding a tablespoon of water at a time if the dough seems too dry. Cover the dough with plastic wrap and let rest for 45 minutes.

2) To shape the bread, divide the dough into 12 equal portions. Roll the dough pieces into a ball. Flour a table slab and a large pan. Smash a ball of dough into a flat form. It should be generally round. If you want it completely round, place a personal bowl (4') of the right size over the smashed dough and either use the bowl as a cutter OR cut the dough around.

Another round of flattening is often needed to get the right thickness. Rolling pin can be used.

3) Place flats on a greased baking stone (or similar surface) and cover them with a gently wet towel, for up to 6 marks (30 minutes).

4) To bake the bread, heat a large ungreased heavy cast-iron skillet or comal over medium-high heat until a drop of water dances across the surface. Place the bread flats, one at a time, in the pan, and bake for about 2-1/2 minutes. When the dough looks dry and brown spots are formed, turn over to the other side and bake till done (about 2 to 3 minutes). Keep flipping back and forth until the bread is soft, not crisp; it will puff up to l/2 inch thick. It is very easy to overbake, so pay close attention to the timing. Remove each bread to a clean towel (preferably heated). Fold towel over and cover until serving.

Tested and works

Street Bread - Antioch

This is Street Bread, the kind carters make and use. It is simplier and faster to make than any bread a goodwife or bakery would make. It is normally made larger than normal Human Breads, so that more filling can be wrapped inside of it. These larger breads are called wraps or stuffs.

Servings 12 or 6 wraps

4 cups Unbleached all purpose flour

2 teaspoons Salt

4 teaspoons Baking powder

2 tablespoons Vegetable shortening or lard

1 1/2 cups Warm water or more if needed

1) In a large bowl, stir together the flour, salt and baking powder. With your hands or a fork, gradually work in the lard or shortening until it is all incorporated. Add enough warm water to make a soft but not sticky dough.

2) Turn out onto a lightly floured board and knead for 5 minutes.

3) Divide the dough into 12, 8, or 6 portions. Form them into balls.

Roll each ball into a flat round about 4, 6, or 8 inches in diameter and 1/4 inches thick. (Smashing can be used, depending on cooks temperment)

4) On a floured surface, with a floured pan bottom, smash flats flatter. Store in a sealed clay jar kept cool with a moist towel between. Balls can be stored for longer in similar arrangements. Either way, keep them for no longer than an hour (2 terran hours).

5) Heat a large heavy skillet over medium high heat. Place the breads one at a time into the dry hot skillet; cook until earning some brown spots and a bit of color on one side, then turn and brown the other side. Keep flipping the bread until it puffs some.

Remove from the skillet and keep warm in cloth towel. Serve as soon as possible.

Tried and tested

Meatn'Beer Pie

Who says Caravan Food has to be bad?

2 lb Garan or Gip Buffalo is the best substitute

-meat, cut into 1 inch

-cubes

2 ts Salt

1/2 ts Freshly ground pepper

1 ts Sage

1/3 c Flour

1/4 c Oil

1 lg Onion, chopped

1 Carrot, chopped

1 Stalk celery, diced

1 lg Potato, cubed

2 c Beef broth

1/4 c Tomato puree

1 c Beer - any kind

1 Clove garlic, crushed

1 Bay leaf

3 Sprigs parsley

1 Whole clove

1/2 ts Thyme

Bunch -pastry dough for a single crust Standard (9 Inch) pie

Season the meat cubes with salt, pepper, and sage, and dredge in 1/4 cup of the flour. Heat oil in a large skillet and brown the meat on all sides. Using a slotted spoon, transfer meat to a heavy Dutch oven. In the remaining oil in the skillet, saute onion, carrot, celery, and potatoe until lightly browned. Using a slotted spoon, add vegetables to meat in Dutch oven. Sprinkle remaining flour over drippings in skillet and cook stirring, until lightly browned. Stir in the broth, tomato puree, beer, garlic, bay leaf, parsley, clove, and thyme. Pour over meat and vegetables. Bring to a boil, cover, and simmer until meat is tender, about 1-1/2 hours. Pour into a deep 9 inch pie dish and let cool. When meat is cool, roll out pastry and cover dish. Cut steam vents in crust and bake in preheated 425F oven for 30-35 minutes, until pastry is browned. Makes 6 servings.

Where is the beer? It is the traditional drink when eating said pie.

With Buffalo, it is a tested recipe. Yum.

Serpent Fry

2 three or four foot good diameter serpents Rattlesnake is a good substitute, but any strong snake will do.

1 cup shortening

1/2 cup flour

3 cups milk

1 teaspoon paprika

1/2 teaspoon onion powder

1/2 teaspoon garlic juice

1/2 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

dash of white pepper

dash of oregano

dash of rosemary

salt to taste

Directions:

1) Skin, clean and rinse serpent well.

2) Cover with whole milk and garlic juice in a plastic mixing bowl and keep in a cool place overnight (refrigeration best).

3) Pat dry, season with paprika, onion powder, cayenne, black pepper, and desired amount of salt.

4) Add white pepper, oregano, and rosemary to the flour.

5) Heat shortening in a skillet.

6) Lightly flour the serpent and fry until golden brown.

Tested recipe.

Karnan Fricassee With Wine

Ingredients:

Every 2 1/2 to 3 stones (pounds) of Karnan meat will feed four people, so make sure to have plenty of friends around if you have a whole Karnan or be prepared to make smoked Karnan or alternate uses.

Per 2 1/2 to 3 stones (pounds) Karnan meat you will need

salt

red pepper

flour for dredging

1/2 cup dry white wine

1/4 cup onion, chopped

juice of 1 lemon

1 teaspoon parsley, finely chopped

3 tablespoon butter or margarine

1/4 teaspoon dried thyme leaves

1 teaspoon dried tarragon

Directions:

Rinse Karnan pieces and pat dry with towel. Sprinkle with salt and red pepper. Dredge in flour. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Brown pieces on all sides - about 10 minutes for each 2 1/2 to 3 lbs. Reduce heat to low. Drain off oil. Add remaining ingredients, cover, and continue to cook for about 45 minutes or until tender.

Note: The popular bardic tale of killing and directly cooking Karnan in their 'shell' is false. First, it is not really a shell, but just super thick layer of hide. While a Karnan is quite large and the 'shell' quite thick, the shell must be properly prepared before it is used to cook. First it must be dried in the sun for one to three days. Drying it over a low fire or in a bread kiln will work if one is careful. The shell must then be polished with sand inside and out. Then it needs to be sealed with a simple wax on the outside. Do not worry, the wax will be absorbed by the 'shell' and not be burned off. The new shell kettle needs to be 'seasoned', so cooking a great deal of fat over a low heat for a while will prepare the shell for use as a cooking impliment.

The Lid, from the chest ridges, needs to be equally treated and wooden blocks to block the limb and head exits. It is not as durrable, so often it is mounted onto a thin wooden lid for strength.

About Karnan:

http://www.strolen.com/content.php?node=1362

Turtle is the only substitute for this recipe

Order of the Oak Jerked Meat

This is practically a secret of The Order. The members carry this trail food while on patrol. Despite the legends, this is made at order houses and waystations, not in the field.

The Order, for those that don't know it, protects the Great Oak Forests from encroachment, marching armies (any direction), and from Hellspawned creatures that come from the occasional Hellpit. There are a hundred and twenty rangers protecting Humanity from the Forrest and the Forest from Humanity.

I have bought a great deal of grog for several members and finally have the correct recipe. Soon I will have their travel biscuits.

Ingredients:

A good bit of Venison (or Bison if desired and you are on the planes)

1/3 cup dry sherry or sack

1/2 cup soy sauce or fermented bean paste

1/3 cup chicken stock (Squicken will do)

3 tablespoons rice wine vinegar

1 tablespoon brown sugar

2 teaspoons chopped fresh ginger

2 cloves garlic, slivered

1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Directions:

1) Remove all fat meat.

2) If winter, Wrap meat in oiled cheese cloths and place in snow until almost frozen solid, about 2 hours. This step makes the meat easier to slice.

3) Remove and cut with the grain into neat 1/8 inch thick slices. Arrange meat in a shallow dish.

4) Mix sherry, soy sauce, stock, vinegar, brown sugar, ginger, garlic, and pepper together in a saucepan and bring to a boil.

5) Let cool and pour over sliced meat. Marinated overnight in the cool place, stirring once or twice.

6) Pat meat dry with towels.

7) Arrange meat in a single layer on a rack and place in a low heat oven or kiln (250°F oven). Let heat fall to a mere warm (140°F) and allow meat to dry slowly for 8 hours or so. Meat should be still bendable.

8) Store in an airtight container. Traditionally, it is a waxed leather pouch sealed with wax.

Information about the Order

http://www.strolen.com/content.php?node=1329

What the Wild Folk do

The Wild Folk of the Northern Woods (who are actually fairly civilized, if you ignore the fact that they find permament buildings to be an offense to nature) hunt and eat Bear. To be honest, the Bears also hunt and eat them, so it is fair in their eyes. This is how they cook Bear or BugBear

4 Bear steaks, 1 1/2' thick

2 Wild onions, sliced

1 c Indian vinegar

1 c Water

1/2 c Maple syrup

2 tb Spice bush powder

1 tb Salt

1 tb Bear fat, rendered

Salt and pepper

Get a bear just before hibernation, as they are usually fat and rich at this time. All fat should be trimmed off the meat, which is very easy as bear meat is not marbled like beef. Marinating the meat makes it taste better and makes the meat tender and juicy.

In a large pottery bowl mix the onions, Indian vinegar, wataer, maple syrup, spice bush powder and salt. Let stand for a couple of hours, then ppupt in the bear steaks. Put in a cool place for about 24 hours, turning the steaks every once in a while.

Remove the steaks from the marinade, let them drain and pat them dry. Heat a heavy cast iron frying pan (one of the few things of civilization they delight in) and rub the pan with the rendered bear fat. Place the steaks in the pan and sear on both sides. Lower the heat and finish cooking, adding more fat to prevent sticking. Remove steaks from the frying pan. Add a little flour and water to thicken the gravy. Pour gravy over the individual steaks on the serving dish.

Serve with potatoes. For those that do not know, these are odd brown root plants that the natives cultivate. I wonder if they will grow in civilized lands.

Ale Unicorn

2 (1 1/2-inch) unicorn steaks, porterhouse cut, about 2 lbs. each

1/2 teaspoons sea or other coarse salt

2 tablespoons of unsalted butter

1 cup of ale

1-2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce

Generously sprinkle the unicorn steaks with salt and let them sit covered at room temperature 30-45 minutes.

Melt the butter in small saucepan over medium heat. Remove pan from heat, stir in the ale and Worcestershire sauce and reserve mixture.

Prepare grill for a two-level fire capable of cooking first on high heat (1-2 seconds with the hand test) and then on medium heat (4-5 seconds with the hand test).

Keeping the smaller, more tender sections of unicorn meat angled away from the hottest part of the fire, grill the unicorn steaks uncovered 2 1/2 to 3 minutes per side. Move the unicorn steaks to medium heat, turning them again, and continue grilling 3-4 minutes per side for medium-rare doneness. Steaks should be turned a minimum of three times (more often if juice begins to form on surface). If grilling covered, sear both sides of the unicorn meat first on high heat uncovered 2 1/2-3 minutes; finish cooking with cover on over medium heat 5-7 minutes, turning steaks once midway.

Transfer the unicorn steaks to a platter and immediately top with equal amounts of ale/butter mixture. At the table, slide the unicorn steaks from bones in thin strips and serve hot, making sure to spoon mingling meat juices, ale and butter on each portion.

Rabbit Trail Stew

1 Rabbit, dressed

4 Carrots, peeled and sliced

4 Potatoes, peeled and sliced

2 1/2 c Hot water

2 cups Onion broth

Cut rabbit into serving pieces and wash well. Blanch rabbit by putting it into a dutch oven (or similar cast iron cooking pot). Cover with water and bring to a boil. Put rabbit water in onion broth, bring to boil and reduce by half. Cover rabbit with the carrots and potatoes. Pour Onion broth over rabbit and vegetables. Cover and bake in a fire (at 350 F) for 2 hours.

Onion broth

Touch of fat

4 Onions chopped or cut

salt, pepper, and any other spices to taste.

8 cups water

In Dutch Oven (or similar arrangement) put some fat and heat to sizzle. Put in onions and carmalize lightly. Add water. Bring to boil. Reduce to low simmer. Cook open for two hours or until liquid is reduce to 1/4th.

Bed-tender soul

There are many ways to flavour and prepare a soul for harvest and consumption. This method allows for a truly delicious flavourful essence, without the gaminess of a physically stalked & hunted mortal meal.

1 sentient prey, sleeping

telepathy or dream magic, at least one cup of either

soul harvester of choice

add knowledge of psychology to taste

First, you must enter into the sleeping mind and await a dream. While you are waiting for the dream state to properly percolate, you can dig through old memories for fears & shames. Gently wrap the prey in a safe, happy, and comforting dream. While it may be fun to suddenly drop the bottom out of their happy dream, such can leave the soul undone and less palatable. A sudden fright can cause fretful sleep, which may awaken a spouse or other bed-mate, and may even cause spontaneous awakening. The soul will not be properly seasoned this way.

Once the prey is safe and secure in the happy dream, slowly add elements of the fear and /or shame. For example, someone afraid of drowning can be shown a dream where they are watching televison, and on the show someone is alone in deep water. They cannot change the channel, and the television keeps getting closer. As they start to hear water (drips, splashes, and waves) all around them--quiet at first--they decide to simply leave the room--that you have so thougtfully provided a door to, to ensure the "safe & happy" aspect. Leaving the room causes the water to rush out of the televison set, leading to the chase. Be careful to not bring this chase on too fast or suddenly, or the soul may be scorched. Additional corruptive tastes may be added by placing loved ones or innocents in the way, that the victim must shove aside or climb over to escape his or her fears chasing. The soul is properly cooked in terror when the victim is on the brink of screaming insanity. It is at this point, when they usually tell themselves, "it's only a dream; I can wake up." This is when you reveal yourself, deny them the luxury of ever feeling anything pleasant again, and harvest the soul from the dream.

One particularly delightful combination of flavours is to mix for the victim: falling, while covered in spiders, when not wearing any pants.

Serves 1.

Butter-fried butterflies

This is a simple recipe, having only three ingredients, if you count 'salt to taste.' The real trick is in having the appropriate cage, and catching the main ingredient in numbers without damaging them.

This is a popular Elven snack, and may be purchased from street dealers in any large populated area. The butterflies are secured to a rack by individual clips that keep the butterflys' wings down, so that they do not fold together in an effort to escape while cooking--this makes the resulting snack thicker & less enjoyable. The butterflies are lowerered into a pot of bubbling-hot butter and fried quickly--a few seconds is all that is needed. The result is a tasty, crispy little treat. These are sold by the bag, as it's impossible to eat just one.

Black Forest Boar

2 lb Wild boar meat cut in 2' cubes

1/4 c Flour

1 ts Salt

Fresh, ground black pepper to taste

3 tb Bacon fat

1 md Onion; cut up

1 Clove garlic; diced

4 c Water

1/2 ts Dried rosemary

1 tb Parsley flakes

4 Potatoes; peeled

4 Carrots; peeled

4 sm Onions; peeled

Coat wild boar in flour mixed with salt and pepper. Heat fat in a deep pan and brown meat on all sides. Add onion and garlic and cook 5 minutes longer. Add water and seasonings and cook covered, 1 to 2 hours, depeneding on age of the boar, until meat is tender. Add potatoes, carrots and onions and cook another 30 minutes or until vegetables are done. Serve with quartered tomatoes and black pumpernickel bread.

Romulan Ale

From Memory Alpha, the free Star Trek reference.

http://www.memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Main_Page

Romulan ale is a highly intoxicating alcoholic beverage of Romulan origin with a characteristic pale blue color. Although it has been illegal in the Federation from at least the 2280s to the late 2370s, in actual practice the majority of Starfleet officers had sampled it at one point or another. A rare exception was Admiral William Ross.

Captain James T. Kirk was able to procure some for his crew, and served it at a state dinner with Gorkon in 2293. When pressed by one of the Klingons on its illegality, he wryly noted it was, "one of the advantages of being a thousand light-years from Federation headquarters." (Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country)

Romulan ale is even a challenge for species as stout as the Klingons, who are more than usually resistant to the effects of alcohol. After drinking a sizable amount of Romulan ale in celebration of William Riker and Deanna Troi's wedding in 2379, Worf stated, "Romulan ale should be illegal", to which Geordi La Forge replied, "It is." (Star Trek: Nemesis)

There was a brief period during the Dominion War when the ban on Romulan ale was lifted, due to the alliance between the Federation and the Romulans. However, as of 2379, the embargo appears to have been reinstated.

375 ml Bacardi 151 rum

375 ml Everclear alcohol

375 ml Blue Curacao liqueur

Combine ingredients in a (just over) one-liter bottle. Chill in freezer for two hours. Serve in shot glasses.

This is done in shots because the average human cannot stand up to a tall cool glass of Romulan ale.

Serpant Adobo

1 lb cleaned and skinned snake, cut into 1' pieces. It should be a good sized snake that is thick enough to make this a mouthful.

1 tbsp Lemon Juice

1/2 tsp Sugar

1/2 cup Soy Sauce

2 cloves Garlic Minced fine

Black Pepper to taste (1/4 tsp minimum)

Boil snake pieces for 30 minutes. Drain snake. Dry thoroughly. Brown snake pieces in large iron skillet. Add all other ingredients. Cook for 30 or so minutes at a low simmer.

Feeds two well, more is served over lots of rice.

Sea Clan Stew - Kenditho ARTH

Kenditho or 'good stew' has its roots in the Sea Clan Cuisine of the Western Oceans. It is actually made by land bound sea clanners and those associated with them along the southern section of SecondLand and the Northern coast of ThirdLand. This is where tomatos and crabs are common. While no fisherman's stew has ingredients cast in stone, but are based on what ever comes in today's net. However, if certain things do hit the nets, you can be assured that the cook will produce Kenditho.

Serve hot as a meal to 6-8, heavy on the red wine and toasted garlic flat bread.

----------------------------------------------------

1 sea bass or striped bass

1 pound shrimp (smaller is better)

1 quart clams or mussels

1/4 pound dried porcini mushrooms

1 West Coast crab

3-4 tomatoes

1 green pepper finely chopped.

1 teaspoon dried oregano, crumbled

1 bay leaf

1/2 cup olive oil

1 large onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, chopped

3 Tablespoons parsley, chopped

1/3 cup tomato paste

1 pint red wine

salt and pepper

Start by soaking the mushrooms in cold water, then prepare the seafood. Cut the raw fish in serving-sized pieces. Shell and devein the shrimp, leaving the tails intact. Clean and steam the mussels or clams in a quart of water or stock for about 4-5 minutes (until the shells open) and save the liquid. Break the crab in pieces. Keep all the liquids to add to sauce

Make the sauce. Heat the olive oil in a saucepan, then saute the onion, garlic, mushrooms, and green pepper and cook for 3 minutes. Add the tomatoes and cook down for a minute or two, then add the tomato paste, the wine, other spices, and 4 cups of the mussel or clam broth (plus any liquids). Salt and pepper to taste, cover, and let simmer for 30 minutes.

When ready to assemble, arrange the seafood in a large kettle: first the crab or lobster, then the fish, topped by the shrimp. Bring the sauce to a boil, then pour into the kettle, cover, and cook on low heat for 8 minutes. Toss in the mussels or clams (to reduce shell volume, you can wrench off and throw away half the shell before tossing in), cover, and heat for 2 more minutes.

Bring the kettle to the table and ladle out into bowls. If left to cook for a touch longer, or thickened slightly, it can be served over thin pasta noodles. Make sure everyone has big towels and nutcrackers and picks--it's a gloriously messy meal.

This is also known as Cioppino around San Francisco

Kenditho D'Antioch ARTH

Admittedly, Antioch is a river city... a good distance from the sea. Admittedly, The people of Antioch are work driven and fairly bland. But they do like their food. Thus some of the best Kenditho ever made is made at a little Dock Area restraunt name The Food Shack. The place is famous for it. SeaClanners actually travel to Antioch to eat there.

Note: Recently other places have copied the recipe to attract customers. Especially since the Shack is always busy, they claim their's is "The Same, without the wait." They are close and still good, but not the same.

2 fresh live crabs (11/2 to 2lbs. each)

1/8 cup olive oil

2 cloves fresh garlic, chopped

Crab butter*

1 cup dry white wine

1/4 cup onions, chopped fine

8 prawns

16 manila clams, well scrubbed

16 mussels, well scrubbed

1 cup clam juice or fresh broth

2 cups crushed tomatoes, peeled and seeded

11/2 cups tomato sauce

Chopped parsley as needed

Salt and pepper to taste

Red pepper flakes to taste

Method:

1. Prepare tomato sauce (recipe follows)

2. Proceed with Kenditho recipe

Tomato Sauce

1/2 cup olive oil

1 onion chopped

6 cloves garlic, finely chopped

40-ounces canned, chopped tomatoes pureed

18 basil leaves, julienned

Salt and pepper to taste

Warm a heavy skillet on medium heat. Add

olive oil and diced onion. When onion

becomes transparent add garlic and cook

until lightly brown. Add tomatoes, basil

leaves, salt and pepper and simmer for 45

minutes.

Kenditho

In an 8 quart kettle or pot, heat the olive

oil and saute the onions until transparent.

Add the garlic and saute until it begins to

brown. Stir in crab butter and let cook

slowly for 2 minutes. (Crab butter is

saffron yellow and adds a distinctive rich

flavor.) Next, add the wine and reduce. Add

tomatoes, tomato sauce, broth and live crab.

Cook mixture at a simmer for about 5

minutes. Cover and continue to simmer at low

heat for about 5 minutes. Add prawns, clams

and mussels and continue to cook for 2

minutes. Serve in a bowl and sprinkle with

fresh parsley. Add salt and pepper to taste.

*Fresh crab usually has yellowish matter

under the shell in the center of the body,

called crab butter, or fat, or mustard. It

is edible and considered quite tasty.

**If your crab is cooked ahead of time, add

it to the recipe at the same time you add

the clams, prawns and mussels.

Yield: 4 servings

Prep Time: 45 minutes

Cook Time: 1 hour 15 minutes

This recipe is Alioto's Crab Cioppino. Alioto's is a famous long time restaurant on San Francisco's Fisherman's Wharf. It is the first place I had Cioppino and still the standard I measure all others by. This recipe is courtesy of Nunzio Alioto

TO STEWE STEKES OF MUTTON

From A Proper Newe Book of Cokerye, 1572

Take a legge of mutton and cot it in small slices, and put it in a chafer, and put therto a pottell of ale, and scome it cleane then putte therto seven or eyghte onions thyn slyced, and after they have boyled one hour, putte therto a dyshe of swete butter, and so lette them boyle tyll they be tender, and then put therto a lyttel peper and salte.

To translate into Modern

2 lb leg of lamb or mutton (this recipe also works well with beef)

1 pint dark beer or ale

2 onions, thinly sliced

1 tsp salt

pepper to taste

2 Tbsp butter

Bone the lamb, trimming off any skin or excess fat. Cut into thin slices across the grain. Place in a heavy pan with the beer and onions, cover and simmer for an hour. Add the salt, pepper and butter and continue simmering for 30 minutes**, or until tender. Though it's not in the recipe, I've found that adding 1/2 tsp or so of malt vinegar or cider vinegar really sparks up the dish. Serve with fingers of fried bread.

This serves from 4-6

** It is amazing to me how much 'better' modern livestock are vs their precursors. They are more tender, leaner, and larger, than stock from a mere 50 years ago. In fact, they even cook faster. Selective breeding and a better understanding of biology/ ecology has done wonders for most food breeds. That is why you only have to cook the mutton for 30 minutes, rather than an hour and need a few modern onions vs many small precursor ones.

BLANK-MANG

From the 'Forme of Cury', c.1390

Take capons and seeth hem. Thenne take hem up. Take almandes blanched. Grynd hem and alay hem up with the same broth. Cast the mylk in a pot. Waisshe rys and do thereto and lat it seeth. Thanne take brawn of caponns. Teere it small and do thereto. Take white greece, sugar, and salt, and cast thereinne. Lat it seeth. Then mess it forth and florish it with aneys in confyt rede other whyte and with almandes fryed in oyle and serve forth.

Serves from 4-6

The Modern Version:

2 large, boneless capon or chicken breasts

Note: you can use a boned breast or put some spare chicken bones in the broths.

2 1/2 cup water

1 1/4 tsp salt

1/2 cup blanched almonds

2 Tbsp ice water

1 tsp salt

1 cup rice

1 Tbsp butter

4 tsp brown sugar

Garnish:

candied anise (The author has never found it, but was told it exists. By my sources, it is only available imported from the UK and India.)

toasted slivered almonds

Bring the 2 1/2 cups water and 1 1/4 tsp salt to a boil, and boil the chicken, covered, for 15 minutes or until done. Remove the chicken and set aside, reserving the broth. Grind the almonds with the ice water in a blender or with mortar and pestle, until smooth. To make 'almond milk', combine 2 cups of the broth with the ground almonds, and allow to stand for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Put the almond milk into a pan, and cook the rice in it with the salt, butter, and brown sugar. Meanwhile, dice the chicken breasts. Just before the rice is done, add the chicken. Stir to distribute the chicken pieces, and finish cooking the rice. Just before serving, garnish with the toasted almonds (and candied anise, if you could find any).

Squicken Risotto Milanese

1/4 cup butter

2 . lbs squicken meat, sliced thinly

1 large onion, chopped

2 1/2 cups risotto rice

2 1/2 cups chicken stock

2/3 cup white wine

1 teaspoon crumbled saffron

salt and pepper

1/2 grated tuva root, to serve

Heat 4 tablespoons of butter in a deep skillet, and fry the squicken and onion until golden brown. Add the rice, stir well, and cook for 15 minutes.

Heat the stock until boiling and gradually add to the rice.

Add the white wine, saffron, salt and pepper to taste and mix well.

Simmer gently for 20 minutes, stirring

occasionally, and adding more stock if the risotto becomes to dry.

Leave to stand for 2-3 minutes and just before serving, add a little more stock and simmer for 10 minutes. Serve the risotto sprinkled with the grated tuva root and the remaining butter.

Serve 4

* Chicken may be substituted for the squicken meat. Parmesan cheese may be substituted for the tuva root.

Avgolemon Soup

12 cups chicken broth

1/2 - 2/3 cup rice

3 squicken egg yolks*

1/3 - 1/2 cup fresh lemon juice

1/4 cup dill leaves

Place the broth in a large stockpot and bring to a boil over high heat. Add the rice, lower the heat to low and cook until it is tender, about 15 minutes.

While the rice is cooking, place the egg yolks and lemon juice in a bowl and whisk until the mixture is frothy and somewhat thickened.

Gradually add 1/2 cup boiling broth to the egg mixture, being careful not to let the eggs curdle. Add 2 more cups, 1/2 cup at a time. Return the mixture to the stockpot and continue cooking for 10 minutes, hisking occasionally. Serve immediately or cover and chill up to 2 days.

To reheat, cook over low heat until heated through, about 5 - 8 minutes. Garnish with dill. Serve 6.

*If squicken eggs are not available, replace with 12 large chicken egg yolks

TO BOILE A CAPON WITH ORENGES AND LEMMONS

From the The Good Huswife's Handmaide For the Kitchen, 1594

Take Orenges or Lemmons pilled, and cutte them the long way, and if you can keepe your cloves whole and put them into your best broth of Mutton or Capon with prunes and currants and three or fowre dates, and when these have beene well sodden put whole pepper, great mace, a good peece of suger, and some rose water, and either white or claret Wine, and let all these seeth together a while, & so serve it upon soppes with your capon.

The Modern Version:

2 1/2 lbs chicken or capon, cut into serving pieces

1 Tbsp olive oil

1 Tbsp butter

1 1/2 cup chicken stock

1 tsp rosewater (available from Middle Eastern groceries, or by mail order from cooking supply outlets such as Williams Sonoma;1-800-541-2233)

1 cup white wine

2 oranges, peeled and cut into eighths

2 lemons, peeled and cut into eighths

4 prunes, coarsely chopped

4 dates, coarsely chopped

1/2 cup currants

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 tsp whole peppercorns

1/2 tsp whole cloves

1/2 tsp mace

In a large dutch oven, heat the oil and butter together until hot. Season the chicken or capon pieces with salt and pepper and place in pan. Brown well on all sides. Add the chicken stock, rosewater, and wine and simmer for 20 minutes. Add the fruit, salt, and mace. Place the peppercorns in a cheesecloth bag and add to the stock (the cheesecloth isn't strictly neccessary, but biting unsuspectedly into a peppercorn or clove can be an unsettling experience). Continue to simmer for another 15 minutes, or until the chicken is tender. Remove the cheesecloth bag containing the peppercorns and cloves. Serve in a large bowl with strips of fried bread.

Note: Finer Quality Squicken can be substituted

Apple Moyse

From The Good Huswife's Jewel, T Dawson, 1596, originally printed by Edward White.

Roste your apples, and when they be rosted, pill them and straind them into a dish, and pare a dozen of apples and cut them into a chafer, and put in a little white wine and a little butter, and let them boile till they be as soft as Pap, and stirre them a little, and straine them to some wardens rosted and pilled, and put in Suger, Synamon and Ginger, and make Diamonds of Paste, and lay them in the Sunne, then scrape a little Suger uppon them in the dish.

Reading this into modern English:

Bake three apples and three pears in the oven, in a pan covered with foil, at 375 degrees, about 1 hour. A little water in the dish will speed things up (not part of the original). Meanwhile, peel six apples, core them, and thinly slice them. Put them in a large pot with 1/2 cup butter, melted, and 1/2 cup of white wine. Cook over medium heat. Stir them occaisionally, since the slices can break apart while cooking. When very soft, remove from heat.

Bake a 1-crust recipe of pie dough, cut into diamonds, in the oven with the apples and pears, until just done. Sprinkle with sugar as they come out of the oven. Allow to cool.

When the baked apples/pears are done, peel and core them, and mash them up. Add them to the apple/butter/wine mixture, and combine well. Do not be alarmed if this mixture browns somewhat. This is normal and to be expected.

To serve: Spoon the warm apple mixture into a serving dish. Garnish with the pastry diamonds. Be sure each guest gets a piece of the pastry, as it greatly enhances the texture of the apple moyse.

Taste Tested and Approved

SYROSYE

from Curye on Inglysch, 15th c.

Tak cheryes & do out the stones & grynde hem wel & draw hem thorw a streynour & do it in a pot. & do therto whit gres or swete botere & myed wastel bred, & cast therto good wyn & sugre, & salte it & stere it wel togedere, & dresse it in disches; and set theryn clowe gilofre, & strewe sugre aboue.

The Modern Version:

2 lbs ripe red cherries

1 1/2 cups white wine

3/4 cup sugar

4 Tbsp butter

1 cup breadcrumbs

pinch of salt

garnish:

flower heads of clove pinks (optional)

sugar, preferably raw sugar if available

Wash the cherries and remove the stems and stones. Puree the fruit in a blender with 1/2 cup of the wine and half the sugar. Add a little more wine as needed to get a smooth puree. Melt the butter in a saucepan and add the fruit puree, breadcrumbs, remaining wine, remaining sugar, and salt. Simmer, stirring often, until the puree is very thick. Pour into a serving bowl, cover, and let cool. The cherry pottage should be the consistency of a thick apple sauce. Refridgerate until served. Before serving, decorate the edge of the bowl with the clove pinks, if desired. Sprinkle the sugar over the dish.

Utilis Coquinario 14 Century England

DESCRIPTION: Fish in a sweet and sour onion sauce

http://www.godecookery.com/mtrans/mtrans36.htm

ORIGINAL RECEIPE:

A dauce egre. Tak luces or tenches or fresch haddok, & seth hem & frye hem in oyle doliue. & an tak vynegre & ¾e thridde pert sugre & onyounnes smal myced, & boyle alle togedere, & maces & clowes & quybibes. & ley e fisch in disches & hyld e sew aboue & serue it forth.

Into Modern

INGREDIENTS:

Haddock, either whole (gutted & cleaned) or filets or 'steaks'

Olive Oil

Red Wine Vinegar

Sugar

Onion, minced

Mace

Cloves (powder)

Cubeb or substitute with Black Pepper

DIRECTIONS:

Place the fish in a baking dish; add just enough water to cover about 2/3 of the fish, then bake in a hot oven just until the fish is cooked (do not overcook). Remove from the pan & drain well. In a saucepan, combine all other ingredients, using sugar and vinegar in ratio to produce a sweet and sour taste. (The original recipe calls for '¾ thridde pert sugre' which would mean to use about 1 cup vinegar to 1/3 cup sugar.) Bring the sauce to a boil, then reduce to a simmer, cooking until the onions are soft. Fry the fish in olive oil until the outside is crispy; remove from oil and drain. Place the fish in a serving platter and cover with the sauce. Serve forth!

Orcish Stomach

This is high Orcish cuisine of the Grey Orcs, some of the most 'civilized' Orcs known to the world. Those who have tried it (and can get past the parts and the cooking vessel) said it is tasty, though a bit of an aquired taste to truly enjoy.

Despite the legends, the dish has never been made with actual Orc Stomach or Elf Stomach. The reasons the Orcs say is that they are too small.

1 lb beef heart

1 lb boneless beef brisket

1 lb boneless lamb shoulder (if available)

1/4 c onions (dried) or 1 large, chopped

water or beef stock, as required

1 lb beef liver

3 cups pinhead oatmeal or rolled oats

1 cup beef suet

2 tbs. salt * seasoning optional

1 tbs. black pepper * seasoning optional

pinch cayenne pepper * seasoning optional

cow's bladder/ stomach

*Horse parts may be substituted for beef, Buffalo and Gip are also an option, but the stomachs/ bladders can be Buffalo and Gip is available.

Chop coarsely heart, brisket, lamb and onion. Put in large saucepan, cover with water/stock. Bring to a boil and simmer 30 minutes. Add coarsely chopped liver and simmer a further 30 minutes. Pout off cooking liquid and reserve. Chop cooked meat finely and in a bowl mix in, one at a lime, oatmeal, suet, salt, pepper and cayenne. Pour in reserved liquid until firm and moist. Spoon mixture into bladder and secure ends with string. Place in top half of a steamer and steam over simmering water for 1 1/2 hours.

To reheat for serving, wrap in foil to protect skin, place in a saucepan, cover with water and simmer for 1/2 hour per pound. (If bowl was used to steam it, put it back into a pan of water and simmer for same time.) To serve, cut skin and spoon out. May also be served battered and fried.

Orcish Stomach II

Humans, never to be outdone, took the Orcish delicacy and made their version of it. Of course, the Highlanders are Humans that many claim are only one step away from Orcs, so that could be the reasoning. However, the recipe has slowly creeped down into civilization (occasionally creaping up behind people and taking them unawares).

Lady Login's Receipt, 1856

1 cleaned sheep or lamb's stomach bag

2 lb. dry oatmeal (rolled and toasted.. pinhead is good)

1 lb chopped mutton suet

1 lb lamb's or deer's liver, boiled and minced

1 pint (2 cups) stock

the heart and lights of the sheep, boiled and minced

1 large chopped onion

1/2 tsp.. each: cayenne pepper, Jamaica pepper, salt and pepper

Toast the oatmeal slowly until it is crisp, then mix all the ingredients (except the stomach bag) together, and add the stock. Fill the bag just over half full, press out the air and sew up securely. Have ready a large pot of boiling water, prick the haggis all over with a large needle so it does not burst and boil slowly for 4 to 5 hours. Serves 12

These two recipes are well known Haggis recipes

Scapple

Cool weather conjures up thoughts of hog killin' and scrapple makin'. After the hams and bacon have been put down in cure and the sausage is all ground and the lard rendered and the feets pickled and the snouts soused, you take what's left (the scraps) and make scrapple. Now, I have seen a lot of recipes for making scrapple. Most say to start with a shoulder or some such good piece of meat. Blasphemy! Everybody knows there are better ways to use a shoulder and such wanton waste would not have been tolerated back when times were tight and folks had to make the most of what they had. I have also had some Pennsylvania scrapple that was way too strong in liver. Here's how we used to make it back when I was a youngun.

Ingredients:

1 Grandmother to make sure everything is done 'just so'

1 Mother to do most of the preparations. Overseen by ingredient #1

2 Children, big enough to stir the pot but not smart enough to be somewhere else

Hog heads (number depending upon how many hogs were killed)

About 1/4 of the livers (the rest having been made into liver pudding or fried)

Hearts

Various and sundry other parts of the pig not used to make other delicacies

Salt

Sage

Pepper

Maybe a little celery salt to highlight the flavors (optional)

Stone ground white cornmeal

The feature attraction is the cleaned head. Remove the eyeballs (the brains were removed on killing day and scrambled with eggs the next morning), break the head(s) into manageable pieces with a cleaver, and cook them down in a kettle of boiling water 'til the meat is easily pulled. Skim the fat from the water and save. Pull all of the meat and fat (separate) from the heads and chop up the chunks. Cook the liver and heart and whatever else wasn't used in other delicacies and grind them up. Get a tote-sack full of corn meal and keep it handy. Put the meat, heart, and other scraps (except liver) back into the simmering kettle of stock. Add liver until you can taste it but the liver flavor does not predominate. You can put some of the fat in if you wish. Add salt and celery salt - the cornmeal will take a lot of salt so you get this mixture fairly salty. Stir. Taste. Add sage and pepper to taste - not too much, now. Stir. Taste. Pass the spoon around so everybody can pass judgment. When it's right, you should taste salt first, then liver - but not too strong, rich pork meat flavor and a hint of sage. When everybody (especially ingredient #1) is agreed that it couldn't possibly be better, bring out the cornmeal and kids.

Now comes the hard part! Slowly stir in the cornmeal with a long wooden spoon - not too much at a time, now. Keep stirring. Add cornmeal. Keep stirring. Add cornmeal. Keep stirring. As the mixture starts to get thick, add some of the liquid fat that had been skimmed earlier. Keep stirring. Not thick enough yet. Add a little more corn meal. Keep stirring. A little more fat until there is a slight sheen to the surface but no visible oil. Keep stirring.

'Just where do you think you're going? Get back there and stir that pot!! '

As the mixture thickens and you fine tune the ratio of fat to cornmeal, it will start to separate from the sides of the kettle. This is a good thing 'cause the kids are about tuckered. Ladle it into lightly greased, shallow, rectangular or square tin pans to a thickness of about 2 1/2 inches. Be careful - it's still hot! Start slapping it down with the palm of your hand. Slap it like you mean it! SLAP IT! If you are doing it right, your hand should be beet red, sore and covered with a light coat of pig oil. Good. Now let the pans cool, cover with waxed paper and put them in the frigidare or cold pantry.

Next morning, remove scrapple from the pan and slice about 3/8' thick. Lightly flour both sides. Heat about 1/4' of bacon grease in an iron skillet 'til it just starts to smoke. Fry until outside starts to crisp but the inside is still soft. Drain briefly on a paper towel. Serve with Log Cabin syrup and eggs. There's nothing else like it in this world!!

It sounds like a fantasy food, but it is a real thing. Be afraid, very afraid. The write up is precious. Dan Gill (c) 1997 (just in case) http://www.velvitoil.com/Scrapple.htm

Antioch Spicey Orange Beef

In Antioch, they love their food. However, they love bland food. As a rule, the way of Antioch is not to have very spicy food, but simply flavorful food prepared quickly so they can get to eating. given their choice about it, in large quantities. Antioch Spicey Orange Beef is the exception that proves the rule. This is a how it is prepared in most households.

16 ounces shaved beef

1 cup broccoli, cut into small trees

1 carrot, julienned

1/4 red onion, sliced (Antioch Onions are like Visalias)

1/4 pound snow peas (strings removed)

1 cup mushrooms, chopped

1 can bamboo shoots

1 can sliced water chestnuts

1 cup Mandarin orange segments

3 cloves pressed garlic (more to taste, some recipies go upto 12)

3 tablespoons sesame seed oil

3 tablespoons olive oil

1 cup beef broth

1 tablespoon corn starch

1/2 cup Mandarin syrup

1/2 cup Thai ginger sauce (Spicey Ginger Sauce actually comes from Amar)

Enough thin egg noodles to fill the personal bowl of everyone eating.

DIRECTIONS

In a large deep cooking pan (WOK), heat 1 tablespoon sesame seed oil and 2 tablespoons olive oil. Add beef and cook. Remove beef from pan and add remaining oil to pan. Heat 1 minute, and add broccoli and carrots continue to cook until the vegetables start to cook. Add onions and pressed garlic. Continue to cook for about 3 minutes. Mix the beef broth and corn starch together in small bowl. Add peas, bamboo shoots and chestnuts to pan and toss. Cook 1 minute. Add broth mixture to pan and toss over medium-high heat for 2 minutes. Add oranges and remaining sauces to pan. Toss. Serve over Noodles in a personal bowl.

Klah

Nothing like starting the day with a good cup of Klah. Starbucks should make this stuff.

'Klah: a hot, stimulating drink made from tree bark and tasting faintly of cinnamon.' - Anne McCaffrey: The Dragonriders of Pern.

This is the classic recipe from 'The Dragonlover's Guide to Pern' but most people have their own version.

2 tablespoons sweet ground chocolate

1/2 cup dark cocoa (same as Dutch cocoa)

3/8 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon dark instant coffee, ground to a powder

1 pinch nutmeg

Or a more traditional recipe

3/4 cup of coffee

1/4 cup very very cold milk

2 tsp cocoa

1 tsp cinnamon

Mix things in this order and stir well.

For best results, don't try to make pot full of this stuff - one cup at time! Note that cinnamon doesn't mix too well with the coffee, so don't put tons of it into cup (and the description says 'tasting faintly of cinnamon', anyway)and you probably want to stir it a bit every time you take a sip, or otherwise it will end up into the bottom of the cup and you miss all the cool stuff.

News Flash: Thanks to Starbucks making it popular, Flavored Syrups are more easily available around the world in Starbucks, Import Stores, and better Groceries. Cinnamon syrup is easy to add to a Klah recipe (half squirt) and does not settle out.

My Klah Recipe (well not mine, but it is the one I used. I got it from someone else, who had gotten it from some fanzine.)

Brew a fresh pot of coffee

with Vanilla flavored beans

In a very large mug, combine one

package of hot cocoa mix,

2 teaspoons Hazlenut creamer

a dash of cinnamon (or 1 tbs of Cinnamon syrup) and

a dash of nutmeg (freshy graded if you can).

Fill mug with hot coffee

Stir well and enjoy!

Noodle Goo

The people in Antioch has such a flair with words don't they? This is a traditional Antioch dish that has found its way to all of Northern Thirdland, down in to Avon, and can be found in pubs and inns across the Known World. Large pots are made, then they are broken down into individual bowls (kept cold). Those bowls are then heated up and the toppings melted/ browned when ordered. This fare can be served at home, or from a food cart, or in any inn.

Additional ingredients are possible. Cooked ham bits are very popular, as are assorted vegetables, crisped bacon, seared beef bits, squicken, or a variety of noodle stuffs. Many places 'personalize' their Noodle Goo on the menu.

1/2 pound short pasta.

In most Known World places this would be a short broad egg noodles. To Earth sensibilities, it should be elbow macaroni

3 tablespoons butter

3 tablespoons flour

1 tablespoon powdered mustard

3 cups milk

1/2 cup yellow onion, finely diced

1 bay leaf

1/2 teaspoon paprika

1 large egg

12 ounces sharp cheddar, shredded

(Any combination of nice melting cheese can be done. Avalon's variety of goat cheeses is without peer.)

1 teaspoon kosher salt

Fresh black pepper

Topping:

3 tablespoons butter

1 cup panko bread crumbs (In Antioch, it would be smashed fried flour flat bread chips (tortilla))

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

In a large pot of boiling, salted water cook the pasta to al dente.

While the pasta is cooking, in a separate pot, melt the butter. Whisk in the flour and mustard and keep it moving for about five minutes. Make sure it's free of lumps. Stir in the milk, onion, bay leaf, and paprika. Simmer for ten minutes and remove the bay leaf.

Temper in the egg. Stir in 3/4 of the cheese. Season with salt and pepper. Fold the pasta into the mix and pour into either individual baking bowls OR a 2-quart casserole dish. Top with remaining cheese.

Melt the butter in a saute pan and toss the crumbs to coat. Top the pasta with the bread crumbs and extra cheese.

Bake for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and rest for five minutes before serving.

Remember to save leftovers for Noodle Bricks. Left overs are often pushed into a large flat baking pan to cool.

Noodle Bricks

Leftover baked macaroni and cheese, refrigerated for at least overnight

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon pepper

1 teaspoon cayenne (optional. Nobody in Antioch would be so spicy and I prefer it without it)

1 egg beaten with 2 ounces water

1 cup panko bread crumbs or any crunchy product.

Oil for deep frying, preheated to 375 degrees

Cut cold Noodle Goo into slices or bite size pieces.

Season the flour with salt and pepper (and cayenne). Dredge each piece through the flour and gently tap off excess. Dip in the egg wash and then coat with the bread crumbs. Allow them to rest for 5 minutes so the crust can set. Very carefully drop into the oil and fry until golden brown. Remove to a baking sheet fitted with a rack and rest for 2 minutes before serving.

Yumm! Also a popular inn snack.

(Both Tested, Tried, Approved)

Joe's Potatoes

It is unclear if Joe is a proper noun, a personal name, or a description. However the recipe has found its way across the Known World. It is most prevalent in Antioch, Avalon, The Villages, Avon, MaskLand, and parts of SecondLand and FirstLand. Those in Avon and SecondLand serve this for breakfast; In Antioch, The Villages, and MaskLand it is served for Supper. Other places serve it for snack.

7 (8-ounce) baking potatoes. Any size will do really.

1/2 lb ground or shredded Turkey or Squicken

Though some make it with ground beef or sausage

1 large bunch spinach

1 good sized white onion.

1/4 lb cut mushroom pieces (optional)

Salt and pepper

Rub seven 8-ounce baking potatoes, well scrubbed, with softened, unsalted butter, sprinkle them with salt, and bake them in a preheated hot oven (400 degrees) for 1 hour, or until they test done when pierced with a skewer.

In a skillet, brown ground or shredded poultry. Remove and conserve the little fat. Begin to cook onions, when softening add spinach (you can blanch the spinch first). Cook until nearly done. At end, add meat to keep it warm. Salt and pepper mixture slightly.

Cut a 1/2-inch slice from the top of six potato, scoop out the pulp, and reserve the shells. Peel one potato, cube it, and add to pulp. Mash well or puree the pulp through a food mill or ricer into a large bowl (should be about 3 cups). Combine with poultry, onion, spinach mixture. Mix well.

Heap mixture into the reserved potato shells. Arrange the potatoes in a lightly buttered baking dish and bake them in the upper third of a preheated moderately hot oven (350 degrees) for 5 to 15 minutes or until they are well warmed.

This is a personal favorite of mine. It is simple and good. For dinner make it with HUGE potatoes.

This is a descendent from a Breakfast classic. It is made with pan browned hash browns and scrambled egg, plus the turkey (or beef/ sausage) spinach, onion, mushroom, served in a pan.

An Average Avon meal

While fishing is good most of the year, fishing can't hold on forever. Thus fish is salted to preserve it for the long Avon winter. Here is another 'average' meal from an Avon table.

1 1/2-pounds salt cod

4-ounces salt pork, diced

4-medium beets, peeled and sliced

4-medium potatoes, peeled and quartered

2-large carrots, cut into chunks

8-small whole onions

Cream Sauce

In a bowl, soak cod in enough water to cover for about 12 hours, changing water once (I recomend changing the water like four times, but I was not raised on this stuff). In a saucepan cook the salt pork till crisp. Drain; set the pork aside. Discard drippings. Drain salt cod well. In the same saucepan cover cod with fresh cold water. Bring to boiling; reduce heat and simmer about 20 minutes or till the fish is tender. Drain.

Meanwhile, in a second saucepan cook beets, covered, in a small amount of boiling salted water for 20 minutes or till tender. In a third saucepan cook potatoes, carrots, and onions, covered, in boiling salted water for about 20 minutes or till tender. Drain all vegetables. Arrange fish and vegetables on a warm platter. Stir salt pork into Cream Sauce. Spoon some of the sauce over fish. Top with hard-cooked egg slices if desired. Pass any remaining sauce. Makes 4 servings.

Cream Sauce: In a small saucepan melt 2 tbsp of butter or margarine. Stir in 2 tbsp all-purpose flour, 1/4 tsp salt, 1/8 tsp white pepper, and 1/8 tsp ground nutmeg. Add 1 cup milk all at once. cook and stir till bubbly. Makes 1 1/2 cups.

(tried and tested)

FourthLand

The cuisine of FourthLand (outer) and Amar are quite similar. It could have something to do with similiar climates and cultures. Both lands have this basic recipe. There are family variations of it, but this is the "core" recipe.

Chicken Roasted with Apricots

4-pound chicken (or goose)

1 pound fresh apricots, pitted and halved

1 T. sugar

2 cups chicken Stock or broth

1/4 cup each butter and honey

1 t. each rose water and salt

1/2 t. black pepper

1/2 cup toasted slivered almonds or chopped pistachio nuts

1) Combine: Butter, Honey, Rose War, Salt, Pepper.

2) Rub mixture, both inside and out, over 4 lb chicken:

3) Turning to brown all sides, roast in a 425° (F) oven until golden. Lower heat to 350°. Add one cup of stock/ broth (hot).

4) add Apricots and Sugar to pan juices. 5) Baste chicken and apricots with juices and continue roasting 20 minutes or until tender. (Add more stock if needed to simmering pot, but be careful not to make the "sauce" too runny. )

5) Remove to heated plate, pour juices over and sprinkle with nuts.

Serves 6-8.

HardTack

Hardtack is thick cracker made of flour, water, and sometimes salt. When properly stored, it will last for years. It's quite probable that its history began in prehistory. Prehistoric people boiled grains; they cooked grains and added vegetables and herbs to the mixture; and sometimes they ground it into a powder, mixed it with water, and dried it on a hot stone. 6,000 year old unleavened biscuits have been found in Switzerland.

Even after yeast was discovered by the Egyptians, there was a purpose for unleavened breads. Hunters could take some with them when they traveled in search of something tastier. With hardtack to keep them alive, warriors found that they could travel further and take fewer breaks. Centuries later, Christopher Columbus took unleavened bread with him on his journies.

Armies throughout history have had hardtack in various forms. Because it could be prepared cheaply and would last so long, hardtack was the most convenient food for soldiers, explorers, pioneers, or anyone else who needed to be able to pack light and move fast. It is something almost every soldier might recognize.

During the early settlement of North America, the exploration of the continent, the American Revolution, and on through the American Civil War, armies were kept alive with hardtack. A basic concept in war is that the side that can keep its soldiers from going hungry will probably win.

Wheat flour is more than 10% protein and includes Vitamin B. People can live for quite a while on just bread and water. Although raw flour is hard to digest, in the form of hard bread, it is edible. Inexpensive, stable, and easy to transport, hardtack was a staple in military life throughout most of our history.

No one has determined just when, or how, during the American Civil War, hard bread began to be referred to as hardtack, but it was probably during the second year of the conflict. It appears that it was first called hardtack by the Union Army of the Potomac; although the name spread to other units, it was generally referred to as hard bread by the armies of the West.

Note: Union and Confederate soldiers were usually issued a half pound of beans or peas, bacon, pickled beef, compressed mixed vegetables and a pound of hardtack. Most common of all was the hard tack. Too hard to be eaten whole, it was sometimes broken up with a rock or rifle butt, placed in the cheek and softened with saliva until it was soft enough to be chewed and swallowed. It was more often soaked in water and fried in bacon grease. Hardtack was also called 'sheet iron crackers', 'teeth dullers', or 'worm castles', a reference to the weevils and maggots that were all too often found in the boxes of hardtack.

Upon eating Hardtack: Hardtack was eaten by itself, or crumbled into coffee. Probably more were eaten that way than in any other, as they were usually eaten as breakfast and supper, but there were other ways to prepare them. Sometimes they were crumbled into soups, which they served to thicken. Some soldiers crumbed them into cold water, then fried the crumbs in the juice and fat of meat, creating a dish that was known as skillygalee or cush. Some preferred to eat them toasted, either to more easily crumb them into coffee; or in the rare case when it was available, with butter. A few who managed to save a portion of their sugar ration spread it upon the hardtack.

Under Hard Bread 1863 SPECIFICATIONS

Assistant Commissary General of Subsistence - Lt. Col. C.L. Kilburn - Notes on Preparing Stores for the United States Army and on the Care of the Same, etc, with a few rules for Detecting Adulterations - Printed 1863

Should be made of best quality of superfine, or what is usually known as extra superfine flour; or better, of extra and extra superfine, (half and half). Hard bread should be white, crisp, light and exhibit a flaky appearance when broken. If tough, solid and compact, is evident the fault is either in the stock, manufacture or baking; it should not present the appearance of dried paste. If tough and pasty, it is probably manufacture from grown wheat, or Spring wheat of an inferior kind. In all cases it should be thoroughly cooled and dried before packing. Kiln drying, where practicable, for long voyages, is particularly desirable; but if really and thoroughly dried in the oven, hard bread will keep just as well and its flavor is not destroyed. To make good hard bread, it is essential to employ steam; hand work will not do.

The dough should be mixed as dry as possible; this is, in fact, very essential, and too much stress can not be placed on it. Good stock, dry mixed, and thoroughly baked, (not dried or scalded) will necessarily give good hard bread. If salt is to be used, it should be mixed with the water used to mix the dough. Both salt and water should be clean. Bread put up with the preceding requirements should keep a year; but as a usual thing, our best bread as now made for army use, will keep only about three months. Good, bread, packed closely and compactly should not weigh, net, per barrel, more than 70 or 80 pounds; should it be heavier that 80 it indicates too much moisture. The thickness of the biscuit is important; it should not be so thick as to prevent proper drying, or so thin as to crumble in transportation. The quality of stock used for hard bread can be partially told by rules mentioned in the article 'Flour,' as far as they apply. The term 'sprung' is frequently used by bakers, by which is meant raised or flaky bread, indicating strong flour and sound stock. The cupidity of the contracting baker induces him to pack his bread as soon as it comes out of the oven, and before the moisture has been completely expelled by drying. Bread of this kind hangs on breaking; it will also be soft to the pressure of the finger nail when broken, whereas it should be crisp and brittle.

The packages should be thoroughly seasoned, (of wood imparting no taste or odor to the bread,) and reasonably tight. The usual method now adopted is to pack 50 pounds net, in basswood boxes, (sides, top and bottom 1/2 inch, ends 5/8 of an inch,) and of dimensions corresponding with the cutters used, and strapped at each end with light iron or wood. The bread should be packed on its edge compactly, so as not to shake.

Bread thoroughly baked, kiln dried, and packed in spirit casks, will keep a long time but it is an expensive method. If bread contains weevils, or is mouldy, expose to the sun on paulins, and before re-packing it, rinse the barrel with whiskey.

Army Hardtack Recipe

Ingredients:

4 cups flour (perferably whole wheat)

4 teaspoons salt

Water (about 2 cups)

Pre-heat oven to 375° F

Makes about 10 pieces

Mix the flour and salt together in a bowl. Add just enough water (less than two cups) so that the mixture will stick together, producing a dough that won't stick to hands, rolling pin or pan. Mix the dough by hand. Roll the dough out, shaping it roughly into a rectangle. Cut into the dough into squares about 3 x 3 inches and 1/2 inch thick.

After cutting the squares, press a pattern of four rows of four holes into each square, using a nail or other such object. Do not punch through the dough. The appearance you want is similar to that of a modern saltine cracker. Turn each square over and do the same thing to the other side.

Place the squares on an ungreased cookie sheet in the oven and bake for 30 minutes. Turn each piece over and bake for another 30 minutes. The crackers should be slightly brown on both sides.

The fresh crackers are easily broken but as they dry, they harden and assume the consistentency of fired brick.

More Hard Tack

Swedish Hardtack

1 cup water

3 tbsp. vegetable oil

3 tbsp. honey

3 cups rye flour (or 1 1/2 cups rye & 1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour)

1 1/2 tbsp. brewer's yeast (optional)

1/4 tsp. salt

Mix liquids together. In a separate bowl, mix dry ingredients. Combine the mixtures, stirring to moisten throughout. Form a ball. On a floured surface, flatten the dough, and roll out thinly. Cut into squares and prick each cracker with the tines of a fork a couple of times. Transfer to lightly greased baking sheets. Bake at 425° F for around 8 minutes, checking to be sure not to over-brown. It is best served warm.

Simple Recipes

Flour, water, and a little salt. Mix them together to form an elastic but not sticky dough, Roll to a one-inch thickness, bake in a 400° F oven until slightly brown. Allow to cool. It may yet be soft. Put it in 200° F oven until it is hard. Prick with nail or sharp instrument. No baking powder, soda, sugar, cinnamon, raisins, or anything else.

Simple Recipes II

Just mix about 2 cups of flour and a half-tablespoon of salt with enough water to make a stiff dough. Roll it out thin on a cookie sheet. Score it into squares of about 2' and poke some holes in it (not all the way through). Bake it at 400° F for about 45 minutes or until it is lightly browned. Let it cool in the oven.

Simple Recipes III

Preheat oven to 400° F. For each cup of flour (unbleached wheat), add1 tsp. of salt. Mix salt and flour with just enough water to bind ingredients. Roll the dough about 1/4 inch thick, and cut into squares 3 inches by 3 inches. Pierce each square with 16 holes about ½ inch apart. Place hardtack squares on cookie sheet and bake in oven until the edges are brown or the dough is hard (20-25 minutes), making sure all moisture is removed from mixture before taking out of oven. Note: The longer you bake the hardtack, the more authentic it will appear. If you want to make it softer for eating, bake only about fifteen minutes.

Simple Recipes IV

Mix: two cups of all-purpose flour and a half teaspoon of salt. Use more salt for authenticity. Mix by hand. Add a teaspoon of shortening and a half cup of water, stirred in a little at a time to form a very stiff dough. Beat the dough to a half inch thickness with a clean top mallet or rifle butt. Fold the sheet of dough into six layers. Continue to beat and to fold the dough a half dozen times until it is elastic. Roll the dough out to a half-inch thickness before cutting it with a floured biscuit cutteror bayonet. Bake for about a half hour in a 325° F oven.

Simple Recipes V

The basic ingredients are flour, salt and water. General directions are also similar: Dissolve the salt in water and work it into flour using your hands. The dough should be firm and pliable but not sticky or dry. Flatten the dough onto a cookie sheet to about 1/4 inch thick, and cut into squares 3 inches by 3 inches. Pierce each square with 16 holes about ½ inch apart. Bake in oven until edges are brown or dough is hard.

Simple Recipes VI

Preheat the oven to 400° F For each cup of flour add 1 teaspoon of salt. Mix salt and flour with just enough water to bind. Bake 20-25 minutes. The longer you bake the hardtack, the more authentic it will appear.

Simple Recipes VII

Use one part water to six parts flour. Mix in salt. Roll the dough flat and score into cracker shapes. Bake for 20-25 minutes at 400° F and let it cool until completely dry before storing in canisters. The crackers should be hard as bricks and indestructibly unappetizing.

Simple Recipes VII

A cup of water

2 cups of flour

6 pinches of salt

Mix flour, water, and salt into a stiff dough, kneading it several times. Spread dough ½ inch thick onto baking sheet and slice into 3 1/2 by 3 1/2 inch squares. Poke holes in dough, four lines of four holes across and four down. Bake for ½ hour at 400° F. Remove from the oven, cut the dough into 3 inch squares. Turn dough over, return it to the oven, and bake for another 1/2 hour. Turn the oven off, leaving the oven door closed. Leave the hardtack in the oven until it is cool.

Less Traditional Recipes

2 c Flower

1/2 tb Salt (optional)

1/2 tb Sugar (optional)

1/2 c Water

Mix together in an electric blender at medium speed until it has the consistency of playdough. Roll it out with a rolling pin to about 1/3' or so, the thinner the crisper, then cut it into 3 x 3 inch squares. I use the barrel of a ball point pen to punch 16 holes (4 x 4) in each square. Bake at 375° F on the first side for 20-25 minutes or until it turns a light brown color, then turn them over and bake for another 15-20 minutes.

Small Batch, Just for a taste.

2 1/2 cups flour

1/2 tablespoon baking powder

1/2 tablespoon salt

1/2- 3/4 cup water

Mix to a stiff dry dough. It should not stick to your hands. Add water slowly. Add more flour if needed. Cut to 3x3 inch squares 1/4' to 1/2' thick. Now put 16 little holes in each one, using a 10 d nail or some other such thing. Toothpick are too small. Bake in an ungreased cookie pan, preheated to 400° F for about 20 to 30 minutes on each side, or until dry. Check it every now and then.

Small Batch, Just for a taste. II

1/8 teaspoon baking soda

3 tablespoons buttermilk

1 cup flour

4 teaspoons real maple syrup

3/8 teaspoons salt

1-1/2 tablespoons shortening

Preheat oven to 425° F. Mix the soda and buttermilk, then set aside. Combine flour, syrup, and salt. Cut in the shortening. Add the buttermilk mixture. Roll out very thin and score rectangles in the dough without cutting all the way through. Prick each rectangle several times with a fork. Bake on an ungreased cookie sheet for 5-10 minutes or until golden brown.

Small Batch, Just for a taste. III

2 cups of flour

3/4 to 1 cup water

1 tbl spoon of Crisco

6 pinches of salt

Mix the ingredients together to form a stiff batter, kneading several times. Spread the dough onto a baking sheet at a thickness of 1/2 inch. Bake for a half hour at 400° F. Remove from oven, cut dough into 3-inch squares, and punch four rows of holes, four holes per row into the dough. Turn dough over, return to the oven and bake another half hour. Turn oven off, leaving door closed. Leave the hardtack in the oven until cool.

Small Batch, Just for a taste. IV

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 cup whole wheat flour

1/2 cup yellow cornmeal

1/2` cup cracked wheat

1 tablespoon sugar

1 tablespoon salt

1 1/2 cups buttermilk

Combine the flours, cornmeal, wheat, sugar and salt. Add buttermilk, mix well, and knead briefly. Shape dough into golf-ball-sized portions. Dust with flour and roll very thin. Place on greased and floured baking sheet. Bake at 400° F turning several times, until lightly browned on both sides. Cool; then store in waterproof container.

Small Batch, Just for a taste. V

2 Level teaspoons baking powder

1 pinch of salt

1 1/2 cup flour

2 cups sugar

4 eggs, well beaten

1 jelly glass of orange marmalade

1 lb Finely chopped walnuts

1 lb Finely chopped dates

Sift ingredients together. Add the remainder of ingredients; mix well. Bake about an inch thick on a cookie sheet in an oven at 375° F for about 45 minutes. Cut into squares while warm.

Small Batch, Just for a taste. VI

2 cups of flour

1 cup water

1 tablespoon of Crisco or vegetable fat.

6 pinches of salt

Bake for 30 minutes at 400° F. Remove the dough from the oven, and cut it into 3-inch squares. Punch four rows of holes into the dough. Turn the dough over, return it to the oven and bake for another 30 minutes.

A Sailor's Diet

2 1/2 cups old-fashioned or quick oats.

3 cups unbleached flour.

1 1/2 teaspoons salt.

1 teaspoon baking soda.

In a separate container, mix:

1 1/2 cups buttermilk.

3 tablespoons honey.

1/2 cup melted bacon drippings or shortening.

Combine the two sets of ingredients. When the dough is thoroughly mixed, roll it out on a floured board to a thickness of about a quarter inch. Cut out circles of dough with a large drinking glass dipped in flour and put them on a lightly greased cookie sheet. Bake for about 5 1/2 minutes at 450° F. Let the hardtack cool on a wire rack before serving with jam or jelly.

Thank you from http://www.kenanderson.net/ for the number of recipies

Hemorigan Madmush

In the dark lofts of the Hemorigan treetop town of Mojena, where all the shady characters live, there are many delicacies frowned upon by the good folk of the treetop city. Using the mind or body altering fauna which grows in the vast forests which live below them, some meals are made which can have adverse affects. Many people have been fatally poisoned tasting unreputable feasts of this nature.

One of the most popular 'outlawed' meals, however, is known as Hemorigan Madmush, and is made from the hallucanogenic fungus 'Chruinich' which sometimes grows along the waters edge of small streams. Approximately ten minutes after eating a bowl of Hemorigan madmush, the consumer's mind begins to addle and his actions become erratic, unpredictable and often quite humorous to anyone watching. The consumer is filled with a sense of complete euphoria and an hour into effects he begins to lose his memory. Some eight hours later, the consumer will come back to his senses in a strange place, often feeling bruised and battered, but also feeling completely giddy - finding even mundane things very amusing until they next sleep. They have no memory of the previous eight hours, but nor do they care about it.

Ingredients

200 mls of cream

2-3 'rashers' of diced smoked pigmeat - Bacon

1 cup sliced Chruinich * Normal mushrooms may be used to achieve the same taste, but the hallucanogenic effects won't occur.

100ml White wine

30g shaved hard cheese - Parmasen

100g Long, flat pasta

_____

Cook off pigmeat in a small amount of oil. Add the Chruinich and sweat. Add wine and reduce slightly. Add cream and simmer until thickened to a sauce consistency. Serve on long, flat pasta and garnish with parmasen.

A simple recipe, but a very pleasing result.

Common Drunk Shark

First you get um drunk and well spiced... then you cover'em over in a warm blanket. Fishermen in any number of places have this basic recipe.

2 lbs. skinless shark steaks or fillets, fresh or frozen

2/3 c. beer (enough to ensure coverage) + 2 bottles for cooks

1/3 c. cooking oil

1 tsp. prepared mustard

1 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. garlic powder

1/4 tsp. pepper

1/2 tsp. paprika

2 tbsp. butter

4 c. sliced onions

1 c. dairy sour cream, heated

1/2 tsp. horseradish

Enough Rice to serve as bed for fish

0) Start cooking rice per favorite process

1) If required, thaw meat in shallow dish.

2) Combine beer, oil, mustard, salt, garlic powder, and pepper. Add fish; cover and marinate 30 minutes in refrigerator or similar cool place.

3) Remove fish from marinade and broil 4 inches from heat for 8 to 10 minutes or until fish flakes easily with fork.

4) In a saucepan, melt butter and blend in paprika. Add onions and saute until tender but not brown. Combine warm sour cream and horseradish.

5) To serve, make bed of rice, place steak, top each steak with onions and several spoonfuls of sour cream mixture.

Makes 6 servings.

Land Shark or Sky Shark can be substituted, if not prefered to sea shark. Sharviton (shark humanoids) should be avoided on principle. This recipe also works for Gator and any number of good sized saurians.

Blood Vine Stew

10 cups water

1/2 cup crush garlic cloves

1lb dumplings

1 tbs lemon juice or mint (depends on flavor taste)

5 cups crushed or shredded blood vine leaves

1/2lbs diced carrots

1 source of open flame

pork added accordingly

1) Bring the water to a boil

2) add carrots and garlic cloves, wait until they are about half way through cooking, stirring occasionally.

3)add pork, continue stirring until pork is half cooked

4) add dumplings, wait until the pork and dumplings are fully cooked

5)Garnish with blood vine leaves and lemon or mint

6) Bon appetite.

NOTE: Blood vine leaves must be cooked very well and separated from the main plant for safety reasons (see whimsical flora) Pork may be substitute for lamb, chicken, or completely removed if one is a vegetarian.

Lamb and Wolfberry Porridge

This is porridge for improved health and spirit in the winter. It norishes the liver and kidney, benefits essence and marrow, and dispell cold evil. (If you allready have a cold/ flu, avoid the recipe.

Per Person:

250g (9 oz) Lamb Meat (kidneys if possible)

30g (1 oz) Wolfberry (Chinese prefered)

200g (7 oz) Rice

20g (1 oz) Raw slice ginger

salt and green onion to taste.

Silce meat and place it in water to cook. In seperate container, cook the rice down to porridge. When the porridge is read, mix in the lamb, wolfsberry and ginger, add other seasonings to taste.

Drow Spider Jerky By: Agar

Thin, tough, gummy almost to a point of rubber, and pitch black in color, it was only by sheer accident that anyone outside the drow race ever learned it was food.

http://www.strolen.com/content.php?node=611

Hummingbird Tongues- A True Delicacy!

After removal of tongues immerse them in rose or lavender scented boiling water for no more than twenty seconds (shabu-shabu style). Remove and plunge into clover honey to coat. Chill overnight and serve on a bed of seedless, skinless grapes with a side dish of sea salt for dipping. Yum!

Home Beef Also known as Pasta and Gravy

This is a common fare in Antioch and found in western SecondLand. It is served in homes of all social levels, as well as inns across the land.

Some people in other areas on ThirdLand call this Antioch Beef.

1/2-1 1/2 lbs of meat (stew or roast)

3 Cups beef broth

3 tsp beef fat

3 tsp flour

Several half cups of various chopped/ diced vegetables (Carrots, potatoes, rutabaga, peas, what ever is suitable... These vegetables can be parboiled first.)

1 Onion (medium to small)

.5 to 1 lb pasta

Take either cubed stew meat or rough chopped left over roast beef.

If new meat, cut into 1/2 (1 cm) chunks and brown in skillet with butter or olive oil. Drain the pan, into a cup. Wait a few minutes to cool, then skim three teaspoons of fat off the top. Put meat aside and use same pan.

If using roast beef, cut and chop remaining roast to be used into smaller than 1/2 inch chunks (1/4' or so). You will need several teaspoons of fat from the roast (gathered by skimming off cooled pan and conserved in a chill box).

1) Add 3 cups of Beef Broth, preferably strong broth. (This can be made from the same roast beef, if possible), and 1 cup of water. Heat to a simmer. Put in diced vegetables. You can add a dose of spices and herbs of choice (parsley, rosemary, tyme or jsut toasted cummin, or any peppery combination or soy sauce)

1 1/2) Chop and carmelize one small onion.

2) Take 3 table spoons of fat and flour, cook under moderate heat until mixture is well browned. At the very end, you can add a dose of spices and herbs of choice (parsley, rosemary, tyme or jsut toasted cummin, or any peppery combination or soy sauce, as long as it is the same as before)

2 1/2) If pasta is dried, begin to boil it now.

3) Add broth and veggies (onions too) to fat/ flour mixture. Add profuse salt and pepper. Bring to a boil. Continue stirring while gravy boils 2 to 3 minutes. If it gets too thick, add a little more broth.

3 1/2) If pasta is fresh, cook while gravy is being made.

4) Remove pasta, strain well, toss with a small amount of olive oil, to avoid sticking. Wait till sets slightly, then plate (traditional Antioch style serves in bowl).

5) Slather gravy upon noodles. Serve with a nice crusty bread. This should serve 4-6

Tested recipe. Works well without herb/ spice dose.

'Guelky' (Mutton Sausage)

The actual ingredients and preparation techniques are hard to come by, as the folks of Qacha's Neck, where the recipe originated, refuse to share it's details even if faced with death or torture (well maybe that's a stretch, but you get the idea)

The following is this writer's best guess based on months of research, and is written with some fear of reprisal by the town folk.

mutton

sugar

salt

wine (which has begun to spoil- this is key!)

black pepper

sweet and hot paprika

lard

sheep's kidney and liver

fennel

savory (a greenish herb)

thyme

dried goats cheese

mustard seeds

fermented carp brains (yeesh!)

mix all ingedients and grind. Wrap in sheep casing and boil. Then fry. Then sautee in mustard oil. Serve with beer or wine.

Rafute

This fine dish is native to a region known for its pork. Rafute is named after the chief village in the region. It is a strange set of tastes to those not from the south east and archipelagos, but this pork dish is good enough to be served at many a noble and royal table throughout The Land.

Ingredients:

3-4 pounds pork shoulder

1 cup pork stock or combination of pork and chicken stock

1 cup bonito stock

1 cup soy sauce

A finger-sized chunk of ginger, sliced

1 cup sugar

1 cup awamori (Okinawan distilled rice spirit)

½ cup mirin

Place pork in a saucepan with water to cover. Bring to a boil and cook for 30 to 40 minutes. Remove pork from water (which can be made into a pork stock with time and effort). Let cool and slice into 1 1/2 inch squares.

Combine pork stock and bonito stock in saucepan. Add 1/2cup soy sauce and bring to a boil. Place pork and ginger slices in sauce and simmer, covered, for 1 1/2 hours over low heat. Add the remaining soy sauce, sugar and awamori. Continue to cook until pork becomes tender. As pork tenderizes, add mirin and cook for a half-hour uncovered until pork is very tender.

If you have the time, you can shred the pork instead of cubing it. The results are fairly the same, though you might want to cook it a touch less.

Serve any number of ways. Over rice. In a bowl with the end sauce. On a roll. The imagination boggles at the possibilities.

Note: This recipe is also known as Shoyu Pork

If you are in Honolulu, HI, go to Restaurant Kariyushi to try this.

Vengence Rice ARTH

http://www.strolen.com/guild/index.php/topic,1629.0.html

The Humanti of SecondLand were driven away from their 'homeland' by the viscious Wapti. This Octopoid like species nearly managed to hold on to it against the Humanti and Elventi forces of the Returners War. The Eastern region of Western Secondland, and even the coastal Amazonti from the Middle Biomes of SecondLand have been attacked by the dreaded Wapti within memory. To say the Humanti, and to a limited extent Elventi, hate the species is to be kind. At one time, it was even thought that octopi were inmature Wapti. This reviled animal was killed and thrown away. Even though the truth was learned, the hatred towards them is still a part of SecondLander society.

Thus the name of the dish.

Over the last century or two, this dish has cropped up in DeUritican and DeOarians biomes. There has been an influx of octopi in the catches. SeaClanners eat the creatures without any ill effect, and that has finally spread to the lands. The idea that it was vengance against the Wapti has made the dish popular. It can now be found in many places in the Eastern Region of Western SecondLand. Even the coastal Amazoni occasionally make it.

2 lb Octopus

1 c Red wine

3/4c Olive oil

1 Onion -- chopped

2 Garlic clove -- finely chopped

3 Tomato -- skinned & chopped

1 lg Bell pepper, green -- chopped

Salt -- to taste

Pepper -- to taste

Chilli powder -- to taste

1 lb Rice, short grain

Precook octopus in red wine with a little water. The octopus will exude liquid so that you are likely to end up with more cooking liquid at the end. Retain this and add water to make it up to 2-1/2 cups. Cut the drained octopus into small pieces.

Heat olive oil in a large saucepan; add a chopped onion and cook gently, stirring, for 2 or 3 minutes. Add garlic, tomatoes, and pepper. Season with salt, pepper and chilli powder to taste. Cook for a few minutes longer.

Add the cooking liquid from the octopus and bring it to the boil. Add rice (preferably a short-grain risotto rice like arborio) and bring back to the boil, then turn the heat very low and put the lid on the saucepan. After 15 minutes, stir to ensure the rice is not catching on the bottom of the saucepan. In 5 minutes more, taste a grain or two to make sure it is soft. The rice should still be quite damp.

Serve. Serving Size : 4

This is based on a Portuguese dish called ARROZ DE POLVO (OCTOPUS RICE).

Baked Courge with Parmesan

1 ripe courge

1/2 cup of butter

1 clove garlic

3 tbsp of chopped fresh herbs

1 shallot, chopped

1 tsp lemon juice

3/4 cup grated parmesan cheese

salt and pepper

1. Cut courge in half and remove seeds. Place halves face down in a roasting tin add a touch of water and bake for 40 minutes at medium heat, until tender.

2. Meanwhile puree and blend the butter, herbs, garlic, shallot, and lemon juice until thoroughly blended and creamy, season with salt and pepper.

3. Remove cooked courges and cut slice from the bottom so the squash will sit level on a warmed serving plate.

4. Add dollop of butter herb mixture and sprinkle with grated cheese, serve remaining butter and cheese as sides as the courge is eaten.

common vegetarian and peasant dish served in Falhath

Tamarian Spice Bird

The small republic of Tamar is reknowned for its homegrown spices. Tamarians love their food spicy, and go so far as to carry small bottles or vials of spice sauce with them whenever they travel, in case some food needs spicing up. Each family has their own particular spice sauce, and villages hold annual contests to see whose spice sauce is the best. The following recipe is a favorite of Tamarian soldiers who are short on ingredients and time.

2 poultry breasts

1/2 bell pepper

1/2 onion

2 tablespoons cooking oil

2 cups rice or noodle pasta

water

salt

pepper

spice sauce

Heat oil in a pan. Dice poultry into bite-size chunks; add salt, pepper, and spice sauce to taste. Cut peppers and onions into small slices. Add poultry to pan. Cook over stove or fire 2 minutes, then add peppers and onions. Stir occasionally, liberally adding spice sauce while it cooks. At the same time, cook rice or pasta with water in a separate pot. Remove poultry, peppers, and onions from pan after mixture is dark and sticky. Combine with rice/pasta, serve hot.

Union Roll

This tasty treat is served after many ceremonies of joining as a symbolic reminder of the beauty of a union. The knotted top and the layered flavors inside show how many seperate things work well together, and how a union (the knots) hold seperate things together. Many a minister or cleric has waxed poetically about Union Rolls in their sermons.

Dough

1 oz. dry active yeast (or 1 oz. cake yeast)

1 c. warm water

1 tbsp. sugar

2 tbsp. olive oil

2 1/2 c. all-purpose flour

Filling

1/2 lb (.2 kg) of each pastrami, pepperoni, hard salami or three meats of your choosing (turkey ham, turkey pastrami, hot capicola, or proscuitto).

1/2 lb of sliced or shreded mozzarella cheese

1/2 lb of sliced or shreded provolone cheese

Make dough first.

Yeast mixture:

Combine yeast, warm water and sugar. Mix lightly. Float olive oil on top of yeast mixture. Yeast should stand for 10 to 15 minutes and be bubbly on top before use.

Gently combine with flour. Let stand for at least 15 minutes.

Assembly:

Take half of prepared dough and flatten it out in a rectangle as long as common pan (cookie sheet (18-24') or 45-70cm) and 8-10' (20-25 cms) wide.

With a sharp knife, cut equal number of slits about 2' (5cm) from the edge towards the middle along each long side of the dough. Alternating between meat and cheese, begin layering the entire length of the dough. For neater results, start and stop about 1' (2cms) from the top and bottom edges.

Take hold of the slits cut earlier, and pull them up over the mound, twist and tuck. Do this until all the slits have been paired, twisted, and tucked under.

Bake at 500 degrees till slightly brown. Do not preheat oven!

Takes about ten to fifteen minutes to bake. Remove and allow to cool slightly.

Serve hot or cool. Cold and Slices also works.

Serves one to four depending on appitite. (Tested and Approved)

Note: I add a hot pizza sauce as a dipping sauce if served cold or cool.

Valdemar Pub food

See. I am not the only one with this affection. Here is some recipe from the Valdemar section of Mercedes Lackey's site: http://www.mercedeslackey.com/text/1cook.shtml

Meat Pies

Common tavern fare in Valdemar. Meat pies come in two basic forms. A large baked pie for main meals and a smaller pie, shaped in a half circle that fits comfortably in a hand to be eaten as a snack or as a travelling meal.

Basic Recipe: Pastry Dough

The pastry dough is a combination of lard, salt, and finely sifted flour. The lard salt and flour are cut together, mixing the lard and dry ingredients thoroughly. Enough cold water is then added to form a stiff dough. This is rolled out thinly, and the desired size of the pie is cut out of the rolled dough. For large pies, the dough is shaped into a shallow pan, the filling is placed in the pan, and then a second piece of dough is placed over the top, and the edges crimped together.

For small pies a small circle of dough is cut out, the filling is place in one half of the circle, the dough is folded over, the edges are sealed and crimped shut, and a few holes are poked n the top of the dough to let steam escape during the cooking process.

Basic Recipe: Meat filling

This varies depending on location, season of the year, and availability of meat and produce. The filling starts with finely chopped cooked meat, either raw meat lightly cooked, left over meat (the remains of the previous evenings a roast) or broiled meat. To the meat, vegetables in season are added, usually a combination of root vegetables, onions, garlic and mushrooms.

Winter pies often include dried fruit mixed with the meat in a mince-style filling.

A small amount of flour and water, wine or broth is added to the meat and vegetables, then this mixture is seasoned to taste, and sealed in the pastry shell. The resulting pie is baked in the same oven that the daily bread is cooked in, typically using the residual heat from the first baking of the day.

Each inn or tavern cook has their own version of this common dish, and many cooks prick an identifying design into the crust of their pie. Prosperous inns will brush the top of the pie with water and beaten egg to give the crust a lovely golden brown color, and have the apprentice cooks fold the edges of the pastry of the meat pies together in an intricate design rather than use the faster method of pressing the edges together with a fork. Recipes are passed down within a family, or from master cook to his students.

A handful, a large bowl, a bit, and a pinch are the most common measurements, cooking being a fine art, and not an exact measured science.

Other Pub Favorites

Sweet Pies

A favorite treat in Valdemar. Sweet pies come in many forms, utilizing any fresh or dried fruit locally available. The pies come in the same two basic forms as the Meat pies, a large baked pie for service to tavern customers for their main meals and a smaller pie, shaped in a half circle that fits comfortably in a hand. In the northern part of Valdemar, a large slice of the sharp yellow cheese of the region is served with a sweet pie made from the local tart apples.

Egg and Onion Pie

Favorite tavern fare across all of Valdemar. Egg and Onion pie is created in an open pastry shell usually baked in a round pan. Onions are sauteed in some kind of grease, bacon or goose grease is common. Some cooks include the green tops when cooking the onions for the pie. The cooked onions are placed in the pastry shell, and a mixture of beaten eggs and heavy cream is poured over the onion mixture, to completely cover the onions. This is typically baked in the bread oven, after the first baking of the day has been removed, and the second batch of bread is rising. The pie is removed when the egg mixture is completely firm. The pies may be eaten hot, right out of the oven, or cold later in the day.

Moon Cream

In the various habitats and craft floating around the system this has become a popular holiday item. The supplies required are simple and not bulky, the preparation easy in gravity and not, and it is darn tasty.

1 Envelope Gelatin (You will be unable to find a space going craft that does not have too many of these in its galley)

700 ml (3 Cups) Milk

115 ml (.5 Cup) Sugar

3 Eggs Seperated (see recipe notes): (This is the hardest ingredient to get despite the fact that chickens have taken to zero-gravity like a rock to a gravity well. Frozen or powdered components can be used for less than ideal results.) (20th century note: try to get pasteurized eggs if possible, to avoid eating uncooked eggs).

1 ml (1/4 teaspooon) salt

50 or more ml (1/4 cup) sherry

Directions

Sprinkle gelatin in a 100 ml (.5 cups) of cold water and left soften for five minutes,

Heat Milk, Sugar, and Gelatin mixture (in a heavy bottomed pan if in G), until milk is barely scalded, stirring often. DO NOT BOIL.

Beat egg yokes slightly (yes you have to seperate them) and pour some of the hot milk mixture over them, stirring constantly. (This is to temper the eggs, the culinary equivalent of preheating the shields.).

Pour back into the milk mixture and cook over medium heat, stirring often, until custard begins to thicken.

Caution: do not overcook or boil or you will have scrambled eggs with other stuff in them.

Remove from heat, add salt and sherry.

Beat egg whites untill siff but not dry and fold them carefully in.

Presentation depends on the gravity of the situation.

In zero G, dallop a serious serving into a ball and keep in the chill chest. Chill until firm. It should set up nicely into a moon like sphere. This should make about six good sized ones.

In low G or real G, spoon into white, round, standard (230 ml/ 1 cup) carrans (serving bowls). Chill until firm, and again it should make six.

Presentation options, after chilled, add a dusting of nutmeg or crushed nuts. Sugar sparkles are fun too.

Titan Option:While the custard is still hot, added 1 coursely grated ration square of chocolate (1 oz/ 28g). It makes chocolate moon cream.

This is known as Spanish Cream the mid 20th Century. This recipe would be rediscovered in the mid 21st century and adapted to the new environment.

A Recipe for Clay-Roasted Suckling Damn-Beast

by John Ringo Author of A Hymn before Battle

http://www.scifidimensions.com/Mar01/damnbeast.htm

This submission may contain language objectionable to some readers.

The following is a recipe for Clay-Roasted Suckling Damn-Beast, a delicacy of the planet Marduk. We would like to thank Sergeant Adib Julian for his helpful suggestions and tips on preparing this appetizing dish. And this is just one of the hundreds of useful recipes in Interplanetary Fannys New Book: Intergalactic Cooking for the Mom on the Go! (Elease March 3428 AD, JB5Clone Publishing Enterprises).

Follow these steps for a delightful meal!

Step One: Get it

Since these are fiercely guarded by one or the other of the mated pair of damn-beasts, this is, naturally, the hardest part. The second hardest part is finding a damn-beast den. The dens are commonly found in rocky upland areas, but are occasionally found in holes beneath mature faux-teak trees. Whether they are beneath faux-teak or in rocky outcroppings, mature dens will only be found on or near hilltops that are out of reach of Marduk's notorious floods. The openings are relatively small for such a large carnivore, but the damn-beast can flatten itself oblately - and so must the damn-beast hunter.

Placing a group of guards outside the den, a single person, after removing his or her battle armor, can normally worm his or her way into the entrance. It requires a person who is not overlarge or heavyset and fundamentally unafraid of confined spaces.

Remember that the damn-beast is heavily armored in the frontal quarters. Since this is the only part our intrepid hunter is going to see, it is imperative that a high quality weapon be toted into the burrow. Although one might prefer a plasma rifle, there are countervailing arguments (you can't fit it in the burrow, it will kill and torch the kits you're planning on eating, the blast will probably bring down the roof and even if it doesn't the back-blast in that confined space will surely kill you). It is recommended that you use a bead pistol with armor piercing rounds. If such a weapon or ammunition is unavailable, the traditional Mardukan weapon of choice is an assegai, a short spear. However, uhmmm, Mardukans generally don't fit in the burrows so it's not so much traditional as what they would use - if they were stupid enough to try it and could fit in the burrow.

Burrow tunnels are normally 20-30 meters in length, about a meter and a half wide and a half meter high. They will have two to three twists in them and at least one "gooseneck" to catch runoff from Marduk's notorious rains. Note that the gooseneck will often contain standing water, but the intrepid hunter should be able to duck through it and get to air on the other side.

These burrows exist because the damn-beast is a natural prey of the HOLY-SHIT! beast. All items relating to preparation of Roast Suckling Damn-Beast can be used for Roast Suckling HOLY-SHIT! beast. However, the hunter is reminded that the HOLY-SHIT! beast is seven times the size of the damn-beast. Dress appropriately

Passing through these obstacles our hunter should shortly thereafter encounter the defending parent damn-beast. Remember, the damn-beast has no vulnerabilities on the front end. If using an automatic weapon, long, wildly uncontrolled bursts are the way to go. You won't have much time, so putting as many armor piercing rounds as possible on target is the only way to be around to write your own article. Care and decorum are not keynote words for the few seconds between Whats that smell? and Oh, THANK GOD thats over!

If you're using an assegai...drop me a note afterwards, will you? Not before, though. I'm required by Imperial Law to report suicide attempts.

Having dispatched the defending parent you will have to make your way past the carcass. Since it will more or less block the opening to the den, I leave the method up to the discretion of the hunter. (In my case, let me say two words: Big. Knife.).

After this you will have reached the horrible little bastards you are after. By this time they will be feeding on their deceased parent, snapping at you and generally making a real pain-in-the-ass of themselves. You can't kill the little bastards, (though if you ever try this, and succeed, you will understand my lack of kindness towards these horrible little snapping-turtle m*&^%$#@$%^&g bastards) because the cook wants them "as fresh as possible". (The stupid m*&^%$#@%^&r. See him trying this?)

Proceed to pick them up and put them in the sack you brought... Look, if you just brought these instructions with you and didn't read it in advance it's not my fault you didn't bring a sack! Proceed to...oh, I already said that. And I suppose you forgot really thick, leather or synth-armor gloves, right? Well, if you did, you're in trouble. These little c*&^%$#@%rs can BITE.

Once you have them in the sack, you are more or less done. Well, except for turning around (I did mention this requires a small person, right? Right?) and crawling back through the, you know, the debris. Dragging a sack. Full of screaming, clawing little m*&^%$#@cking demons. But you're more or less done. With step one.

Step two: Kill the little c*&^%$#@%rs.

The cook will probably want to do this him (or her) self until he (or she) tries it with one. And he (or she) will go on and on about not disturbing them and proper bleeding, etc.

Grab your gloves. Take a big cleaver...

Step Three: Skin the little c*&^%$#@%rs.

Let the cook skin them. The scum gets all over your hands and stinks to high heaven. You already took a couple of showers and a bath to get momma off of you and you don't need to take a couple of more.

Step Four: Prep the little c*&^%$#@%rs.

Stuff with barley rice and Mardukan taters. If the barley rice is seasoned with jcsauce, it adds piquancy. (Piquancy here refers to the fact that jcsauce is slightly hotter than pure capsicum.)

Step Five Cook:

Wrap in leaves (fire-tree leaves if available) and cover with a thick coating of wet clay. Cook in hot fire and maintain fire while cooking. Serve whole on a bed of barley rice surrounded by sliced kangoes.

Tastes like frog-legs.

Sgt. Adib Julian

Bronze Battalion (Prince Roger's Elite)

Empress Own

Empire of Man

Cook Your Own Rat on a Stick

While sorting through the Judges Guild archives I, your humble Webmaster ( johnn@roleplayingtips.com ), unearthed the following recipe. After a bit of research and some help from a reader I found out that the author was Pixie Bledsaw, who also drew some of the first art in the early days of Judges Guild. Clearly a very creative lady!

I should warn you that I haven't actually tried this recipe yet. It looks very tasty, however. It is basically cheese-stuffed meatloaf, and the mere thought of that is making me want to abandon my computer and head for the nearest kitchen. I'll report further when I have a chance to cook up some.

Ingredients

* 1 to 1-1/2 lbs. ground beef

* 1/2 cup finely crushed cheddar cheese crackers

* 1 egg

* 1/4 tsp. black pepper

* 1/2 lb. cheese (Colby, Colby Cheddar, or Jack Colby)

* 1 Tbsp. honey

* 1 cup barbecue sauce

* 8 wooden meat skewers or equivalent

For optional tails:

* 4 pieces spaghetti

* red food coloring

Instructions

* Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

* Cut cheese into half-inch cubes. Impale cheese cubes on skewers, dividing cheese cubes evenly among skewers.

* In large bowl, mix beef, egg, cracker crumbs, and pepper. If mixture doesn't stick together well, add 2 tablespoons milk.

* Divide mixture into 8 sections.

* Press each section flat until 1/2 inch thick.

* Wrap each stick of cheese in a section of meat. Make sure there are no holes or cracks in the meat that would let the cheese leak out while baking.

* Shape top end of meat "rat" into a point.

Optional tails:

* Fill a small saucepan with water and add four drops of red food coloring. Bring to a boil.

* Break 4 sticks of spaghetti in half. Place spaghetti in water, leaving one end out of water.

* When spaghetti has softened and turned pink, remove from water.

* Using unsoftened end, insert 1 piece of spaghetti into round end of "rat."

* Drape soft end of spaghetti around handle of stick.

* Place rats on baking sheet. (One with sides.)

* Dribble honey over rats.

* Pour barbecue sauce over rats

* Bake 30 minutes at 400 degrees F, basting and turning occasionally.

* Serve to hungry gamers.

Orange Rosemary Chicken - A Dish of Nobility

This dish was found in the speical event menus of many a noble house in southern Europe and around the mediterranean durring the Renaissance. The reason? Oranges were once considered a prized delicacy and not easy to obtain. In addition to the use of Oranges, known to impress, spices only available along the silk road (from India) made the dish one of nobility because of its impressive price tag.

3 Chickens (cut into pieces)

4 Cups Orange Juice

2 Tb Olive oil

1 tsp Garam Masala *1

4 Oranges

4 Springs of Rosemary

2 Turnips, peeled and cubed OR 4 large white potatoes peeled and cubed. *2

1 Parsnip, cleaned, peeled, and thinly sliced

7 Carrots cleaned and cubed

1 Leek cleaned well, diced finely (optional)

Black Peper to taste.

*Start all cleaning, peeling, cubing, and slicing. As a modern consideration, be careful with the chicken and wash everything in contact with it carefully.

*Marinate the chicken pieces in OJ for a minimum of 4 hours.

*Juice, then Zest (long curl), the 4 oranges (conserve 2 tbs zest to the side)

*In a Dutch Oven (or large pot), heat up the oil.

*Remove chicken from maranade, drip a bit, then put to the Dutch Oven

(Dispose of the maranade - in early times they would of just drank the juice or used it in the next steps, but cross contamination and all that.)

*Once browned, add bulk of orange zest, the fresh juice, and just enough water to cover the chicken.

*Add turnips, parsnips, leeks, and carrots.

*Tear rosemary in half or thirds and add to mixture.

*cook until the vegetables are tender (this could take a while)

*Pull off heat and let set of 5 minutes. If too much liquid remains, it can be poured off (but it makes a nice sauce of sorts)

*sprinks conserved zest and garam masala.

*serve family style. Serves 9-12 with some rustic bread.

*1) Garam masala is a collection of spices that have been combined, ground, and roasted. There were many regional variations on this mixture, but they all included cloves, green/ black/ brown cadamon, cinnamon, mace, and nutmeg. Most modern (and many early) ones also include dried chilli pepers, dried garlic, dried ginger, sesame seeds, mustard seeds, turmeric, coriander, bay leaves, star anise, and fenel. It s now availble in specialty stores, Indian Markets, and better Megamarts, across the country.

*2) Turnips were used originally, but most modern diners are ... not accustomed to their unique tasted and textures. Potatoes were not cultivated in the Old World until long after this dish became one the well to do, not the providence of nobility.

Oxtail Stew

This is a classic European (and Asian) dish has many variations, served at inns and family tables. Oxtail was a cheap meat that when prepared well was most excellent (flavor and texture of prime rib - on a working man's wage). This very rich and hearty dish comes across quite well

2 Soup Pots

3 lbs oxtails

1 lb beef shoulder soup bones

2 lbs red potatoes, thinly slied

3 parsnips, peelked and shredded

1 lb leeks cut into rings

3 sprigs rosemary

1/4 cup of butter (or veg oil)

2 lbs carrots, thinly sliced

4 cloves of garlic, minced

salt and pepper (kosher salf or sea salt prefered)

*Place soup bones in large pot with enough water to cover the bones. Add 1 tsp of salt.

*Bring to low boil for about 30 minutes

*Remove and dispose of bones, reserve the broth.

*Heat butter or oil in a different soup pot.

*Add oxtails to brown.

*When somewhat done, add in leeks and garlic

*When the meat is browned, add enough of the new broth to cover the oxtails by an additional 3' (a handspan)

***You can add water to stretch this.

*Cook for one hour, add potatoes, carrots, and rosemary.

*Cook for 20-30 minutes, until potatoes are fork tender.

*Serve in shallow bowl or a removed from liquid and served on a plate (Served on the plate has the advantage of being easier to cut the meat, so it may be fit our neater and well table mannered present diners better).

**If the goods are removed from the liquid, you can reduced the liquid to make a lovely sauce. This step is optional.

Tater Pie

This is a popular dish in The Villages. Traders who moved their families out of the wartorn area brought it to Antioch. From that community, it escaped to Antioch in general due to it being in a dogbound culinary book. The food carters took to it and made it their own. The most recent variation is to put in a toasted bread bowl (think Tortilla bowl). The sea clanners and traders disperse it to the Inns and Ports about the Known World Variations of this can now can be found around Avon (who grow a tremendous amount of taters and have few ways of serving them) and SecondLand. Avoners and FourthLanders make the dish with crisps of various kinds and the same basic filling, but includding some sweet and salty elements. MaskLanders have a spicier verson that was native to their land.

Ingredients:

1 tb extra virgin olive oil

1 cup carrots, julienned

1/2 cup onion, chopped

1/2 cup celery, chopped

1 tb garlic, minced

1 lb sirloin steak, chopped into small pieces (left over turkey or venison can be used instead)

3 cups of beef demi glace (3 cups of hot water blended with concentrated store bought demi glace)

2 tsp fresh rosemary, snipped

2 tsp fresh thyme, snipped

1/4 tsp kosher salt

1/4 tsp crushed peppercorns or fresh ground pepper

1 tb flour

1 lb of mashed potatoes (prepped as you would)

1 tb fresh Italian parsley, snipped

1 tb unsalted butter, melted

*In a large skillet, heat the olive oil over medium-low heat; stir in the carrots, onion, celery, and garlic.

*Cook, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables are softened (about 5 minutes).

*Add the sirloin and increase the heat to medium and continue cooking, stirring occasionally, until beef is browned (about 5 minutes).

*Add the beef demi glace, rosemary, thyme, salt and pepper; reduce heat to low. (Demi glace can be purchased at higher-end and specialty grocery stores.)

*Simmer the pot with the beef, demi glace, and vegetables until the beef if cooked through (10 – 15 minutes); whisk in the flour until thickened. (I can suggest using just a bit of demi glace or other liquid in with the flour, spend the time to mix it well, then incorporate with the wisk).

*With the mashed potatoes, stir in the parsley and blend. (Leftovered potatoes are the best way to go, but feel free to make some earlier before you start the rest of the project).

*Divide the beef and vegetable mixture into 4 portions in 1 cup ramekins.

*Spread the mashed potatoes over the top and brush with the melted butter.

*Bake in a preheated 400 degree oven until the potatoes are lightly browned (approx 20-25 minutes).

**Warning these will stay hot for quite a whle.

Rim world Settler Sweetbread

Originally created by rim world colonists in the 'verse as a nutritious, but easy to make dessert, often served with sweet butter cream and caramel nut sauce, this bread quickly became a favorite of of both Firefly ship captains and companions alike.

Ingredients

2 cups warm water (heat to 110 degrees F/45 degrees C)

1/4 cup of clover honey (or alternatively 2tbsp of honey, 2tbsp cup of real maple syrup)

1 1/2 tablespoons active dry yeast

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

1/4 cup virgin olive oil

6 cups unbleached bread flour

Directions

In a large bowl, dissolve the honey/maple syrup in warm water, and then stir in yeast. Allow to proof until yeast resembles a creamy foam. (approximately 5-10 minutes)

Mix salt and oil into the yeast. Mix in flour one cup at a time. Knead dough on a lightly floured surface until smooth. (Rubber gloves or well floured hands is recommended to prevent sticking.)

Place in a well oiled bowl, and turn dough to coat. Cover with a damp cloth. Allow to rise until doubled in bulk, about 1 hour.

Punch dough down. Knead for a few minutes, and divide in half. Shape into loaves, and place into two well oiled 9x5 inch loaf pans. Allow to rise for 30 minutes, or until dough has risen 1 inch above pans.

Sprinkle generously with sesame seeds along the tops

Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 30 minutes.

Recipe Variations

For a more meaty and filling bread that goes well with Stews and rich meats, reduce the amount of honey to 4 tablespoons and substitute 1/4 cup of bacon grease in place of olive oil.

Grimlock's Garlic Butter

A famed recipe of Grilock, Dwarven cook of the Icebeard army. He Successfully used this recipe to not only provide flavor to otherwise bland meals, but also improve the breath of some of his less hygienic battle companions.

Ingredients: 3-4 cloves of fresh garlic 1 & 1/4 stick of salted butter 1/4 cup of cream cheese 1 tsp of pepper (optional) 1/4 tsp- 1 tsp of salt (depends on how salty you want the garlic butter less if you're cooking with it, more if you plan to put it on Italian bread or as a dipping sauce for pizza.)

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 375 F

Slice the tops of the garlic cloves off about 1/6th of the way down so the tops of each individual garlic piece inside the clove is visible

Place cloves in small baking dish and cover the top of each one with a small pat of butter (this is where the quarter stick comes in although you prolly won't use that much)

Set out the stick of butter and cheese to soften while the garlic cooks.

Cover and bake @ 375f for approximately 40-50 minutes (until the butter has caramelized the garlic and is a light golden brown.)

Warning! The smell of roasting garlic will give you a major case of the munchies so do it right before dinner.

Remove from oven and allow to cool, then remove the individual pieces of garlic from the clove with a fork, tweezers, or tooth pick (they should slide out easily, I prefer to wear rubber gloves and remove them by hand, it's quicker.)

Mash garlic into a paste with a fork, add salt, pepper, butter and cream cheese, mix with a spoon until fully blended.

Refrigerate and enjoy! It should keep for around 3-4 weeks + without any issue, although it will get stronger after the 3rd week.

(You can also freeze it for a few months if you see a need, but it tastes better when made fresh as needed)

You can also skip the cheese if you'd prefer and the garlic butter will be nearly as good.

Sekanjabin

It's basically Medieval Arabic Gatorade, only it tastes better.

Ingredients

2 cups sugar

2 cups water

1/2 cup white vinegar (recomend less for modern palettes)

A small bunch fresh mint, washed

**a bunch of fresh chopped ginger

**any herbs that are tasty too you/

The process

*In a heavy bottom pot combine sugar and water, place on medium heat and stir till sugar is dissolved. Reduce heat and gently boil for 10-15 minutes.

*Add the vinegar and simmer for 25-30 minutes or until it thickens. Taste and adjust the level of sweetness or sourness of the syrup.

*In the last minute or five add a few fresh mint (or ginger or other herbs... just one flavor set) to the syrup.

*Remove from heat and put it into refrigerator. Remove the infusing mint/ginger.

*If served heated/ warm, go as is. If serving cold/ cool/ room temp, add water to dilute it. Usually two to four cups.

This drink is common with medieval recreationists.

Ginger Tonic

Ginger has been used in Medicine for thousands of years and is said to help:

Soothe digestive disturbances

Alleviate nausea (great in early pregnancy)

Reduce fever

Calm coughing and respiratory troubles

Stimulates the circulatory system

Helps relieve muscle aches and pain

Can help get rid of dandruff

Emerging evidence shows it helps lower cholesterol

For hundreds of years Thamians (and other cultures around the world) have made various forms of naturally fermented 'sodas' from sweetened herbs or fruit juice mixes. These natural fermented drinks contained beneficial life forces and humors to boost health. This version uses a fermented ginger culture to create a naturally fizzy tonic!

This natural recipe for ginger tonic (ale) uses fresh ginger and a cultured ginger mixture (called a ginger bug) to create a naturally fermented and naturally fizzy ginger ale. Though this mixture can contain a small amount of alcohol if left to ferment at room temperature for weeks, we use the short brew method to create a fizzy tonic/ ale without the alcohol.

Ingredients

* A 1-2 inch piece of fresh ginger root, minced. Adjust this to taste. I use 2 inches as I prefer a stronger ginger taste.

* ½ cup of organic sugar or rapadura sugar. if using plain sugar, add 1 tablespoon molasses for flavor and minerals.

* ½ cup fresh lemon or lime juice

* ½ tsp sea salt or himalayan salt

* 8 cups of filtered (chlorine free) water (Most Thamian and American water has cholorine.. get a filter)

* ½ cup homemade ginger bug

Instructions

1) Make a 'wort' for your ginger tonic by placing 3 cups of the water, minced ginger root, sugar (and molasses if needed), and salt in a saucepan and bringing to a boil.

2) Simmer the mixture for about five minutes until sugar is dissolved and mixture starts to smell like ginger.

3) Remove from heat and add additional water. This should cool it but if not, allow to cool to room temperature before moving to the next step.

4) Add fresh lemon or lime juice and ginger bug (or whey).

5) Transfer to a 2 quart glass mason jar with a tight fitting (air-tight) lid. Stir well and put lid on.

6) Leave on the counter for 2-3 days until carbonated and transfer to the cooling room/ fridge where it will last indefinitely.

7) Watch this step carefully. It should be bubble and should 'hiss' like a 'soda' when the lid is removed. This is very temperature dependent and the mixture may need to be burped or stirred during this fermentation time on the counter.

As with any traditional fermented drink, it is more of an art than a science as it depends on the strength of your culture, the temperature of your house and the sugar used. The final mixture should smell of ginger and slightly of yeast/fermentation and should be fizzy. Watch carefully that it doesn't become too carbonated as this will cause too much pressure and may result in an exploding jar!

8) The mixture can be strained and transferred to Grolsch style bottles before putting in the fridge (we like these bottles).

9) Strain before drinking.

10) Enjoy!

It turns out that soda hasn't always been the high fructose corn syrup and artificial flavor concoction in an aluminum can that we know today.

A Grete Pye

Ingredients

1 pound short crust pastry

1 egg white; beaten until liquid

1 pound boned breasts of chicken

1 pigeon or wild duck and/or 1 saddle of hare or rabbit (not stewing meat)

salt and black pepper

1 pound minced beef

2 Tablespoons shredded suet

3 hard-boiled eggs, yolks crumbled

1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon and mace and a pinch of ground cloves

1 ounce stoned cooking dates chopped

1 ounce currants

2 ounces stoned prunes soaked and drained

1/2 Cup beef stock

1 Tablespoon rice flour or cornflour

Instructions

1) No Christmas feast in medieval times was complete without a 'grete pye'.

2) In some recipes, it could contain many varied meats, but quite often only two or three different kinds were suggested; change the meats suggested here if you wish.

3) Use just over half the pastry to line a 23-cm/9-inch pie plate. Brush the inside with some of the egg white.

4) Skin the pieces of breast and other meat if necessary and parboil them gently in salted water for 10-15 minutes. Drain and leave to cool.

5) Mix together in a bowl the minced beef, suet, salt and pepper to taste, the egg yolks and half the spice mixture. Add the rest of the spices to the dried fruit in another bowl.

6) Slice the parboiled meat.

7) Pre-heat the oven to 220C/425F/Gas Mark 7.

8) Add 1 or 2 tablespoons of the beef stock to the rice flour or cornflour in a small saucepan and cream them together; then add the remaining stock and stir over gentle heat until slightly thickened. Keep aside.

9) Cover the bottom of the pastry case with half the mince mixture. Arrange the sliced meat in a flat layer on top.

10) Scatter the chopped spiced fruit over it and cover with the remaining mince.

11) Pour the thickened stock over the lot.

12) Roll out the remaining pastry into a round to make a lid for the pie. Brush the rim of the case with a little more egg white and cover with the lid.

13) Press the edges to seal, and make escape slits for steam. Decorate with the pastry trimmings and glaze with egg white.

14) Bake for 15 minutes, then reduce the heat to 160C/325F/Gas Mark 3 and bake for 45-50 minutes longer. Serves 6 to 8.

Notes

Grete pyes. Take faire yonge beef, And suet of a fatte beste, or of Motton, and hak all this on a borde small; and caste therto pouder of peper and salt; and whan it is small hewen, put hit in a bolle. And medle hem well; then make a faire large Cofyn, and couche som of this stuffur in. Then take Capons, Hennes, Mallardes, Connynges, and parboile hem clene; take wodekokkes, teles, grete briddes, and plom hem in a boiling pot; And then couche al this fowle in the Coffyn, And put in euerych of hem a quantite of pouder of peper and salt. Then take mary, harde yolkes of egges, Dates cutte in ij peces, reisons of coraunce, prunes, hole clowes, hole maces, Canell and saffron. But first, whan thoug hast cowched all thi foule, ley the remenaunt of thyne other stuffur of beef a-bought hem, as thou thenkest goode; and then strawe on hem this: dates, mary, and reysons, &c. And then close thi Coffyn with a lydde of the same paast, And putte hit in the oven, And late hit bake ynough; but be ware, or thou close hit, that there come no saffron nygh the brinkes there-of, for then hit wol neuer close.

Serve with a good hearty ale, a rich red wine or if you have it, a flagon of mead.

In all the known galaxies of Babylon 5, is there any more disagreeable culinary appellation than spoo? If there is, I don't want to hear it. Spoo is squishy cubes of yuckworm. It is sometimes called Meat Jello. . Well, ladies and gentlemen and Pak'ma'ra, I'm going to rescue the poor spoo from the gunkier parts of the gastronomic world. I will make something so delicious that even the most jaded Centauri will feel a special tingling in all six happy places.

Getting Spoo in most places is near impossible. So much so, that what is given here is the local substitute. For humans, it is actually tastier than real spoo.

The recipe:

1/2 pound purple potatoes

1/2 non-purple potatoes (results will vary depending on how starchy or waxy the potato is, but that's up to the cook's preference)

1 egg

1 cup of flour

1/4 cup butter

garlic

1 teaspoon thyme OR 1 tablespoon crumbled Gorgonzola (explained below)

Peel the potatoes and boil them as you would for mashed potatoes. When the potatoes are done (tender but not falling apart) mash them until they are very smooth. No chunks. Allow them to cool slightly. While they cool, bring a stock pot half full of lightly salted water to a simmer.

Mix the egg and flour with the potatoes until a Play-Doh like dough forms. Turn the dough out on a floured sheet of wax paper and form it into a long rectangle, as with the flarn. Cut it into cubes using a knife dipped frequently in flour to keep it from sticking. You can make big cubes, little cubes, whatever you like. If the shape deforms when you cut it, no worries. Just reform the cube with your fingers.

When the forming is done, peel and slice the garlic and put it in a small pan over low heat with the butter and thyme (see next paragraph) until the butter is melted. Take off the heat. You can remove the garlic before serving or keep it in, depending on how strong a garlic taste you like. This will be the sauce.

Narn enjoy spoo fresh, which is the thyme variant of this recipe to be. Centauri prefer aged spoo. For this, make the same basic garlic/butter without the thyme, adding a little crumbled Gorgonzola over the Spoo just before serving.

Drop a dozen or so spoognocchi into the simmering water. They cook very quickly. Once they float to the top, use a slotted spoon or telekinesis to remove them. Repeat the process until they're all finished. Though the raw potato is a dark purple, the finished gnocchi takes on a fascinating shade of light blue.

Gently toss with the garlic butter (adding the Gorgonzola if you're doing it that way) and serve the cube-a-liscious beauties to your geekiest friends.

Based on http://www.tor.com/blogs/2009/04/science-fiction-cuisine-the-spoo-elevating-moment